Fate's Irony
by Queen of the Random Word
Summary: “So you're the Kyuubi!” Naruto accused, I have to give the brat more credit then I have originally given him. “The mind, soul, and body of the Kyuubinokitsune,” I explained, But I don't have the power or the tails of my former self, You do you brat. AU
1. To escape a fate

An: Hello this is a fic co written with my sister TassThePhoenix. We are answering a challenge from drunkdragon.

TassThePhoenix: hi-yo!

Shcribble Donamarine: Well with not much to say... ON WITH DA AU FIC!

TassThePhoenix: Of doom and massive mayhem! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!... Chibis!

Fate's Irony

Chapter 1

To Flee the Dreaded.

It was a glorious escape from a terrible fate in my opinion. I had fled a fate worse then death, until I found a real fate worse then death. A loss of my dignity... Maybe I should have counted my blessings before hand.

But what do you expect; I was running for my life, if not my youth.

I had snuck out of my den before anyone could have gotten me and ran to the nearest human establishment in the area. The crisp autumn air was filling my dark red muzzle and lungs. The sound of small trees and crisp leaves crushing beneath my paws and I worked on my Chakra to hide my trail and scent, a quite effective trick.

If it weren't for the slight worry and panic in my system I would have normally enjoyed a run in the trees, but alas the dreaded date of October 10th was swinging its ugly head around.

As I ran, I suppose I was a little careless, causing a few landslides here and there, a few tsunamis, and I suppose I was a little forceful with that earthquake, but I didn't care. As long as they had to deal with the aftermath long enough for my infamous escape I didn't give a damn. It's hard for a giant nine tailed fox such as myself to hide without using Chakra. And Chakra could be easy to sniff out if you knew how to look.

I had heard the alarms going off in the nearest human establishment, something called the Village hidden in the leaf. Now I may have wreaked a lot of havoc in that village just for the fun of it, one, twice... thousands of times. But now wasn't a time for pleasure havocking.

As expected the strongest human of the village—I believe he's called the Ho-kage something or other—came to protect his village from me. Any other time I suppose that he would have been justified, it was his home, and he smelled like wind, speed, moss, wood fire smoke and... A new-born kit?

The man stood with the dignity that belonged only to us well powered kitsune spirits. Hair that could make a buttercup flower pale, his eyes matched the center of the sky, a white jacket with flames embroidered on the base of the sleeves and the bottom of the coat. He stood upon a giant toad – I think its name is Gama Bunter or something—with his arms crossed and looked at me before he ran at me in a flash that matched his hair and came at me.

I stopped and said "You stupid human, get out of my way." I snarled and bared my long fangs to prove to him that he was out of his league.

That hokage had the moxy to stand in defiance. "Kitsune-sama, as Hokage of the Village hidden in the Leaf, I ask of you to please spare our village and leave."

"Just get out of my way." I snapped back. "I have to go through your village, wither or not you humans get in my way!"

I slammed my paw down to intimate the Hokage, squishing a few ninja stupid enough to get in between my paw and the earth. It was then I realized that I had done a bad, stupid thing.

The Hokage attacked drawing a kunai as he dashed and I had to bring up a tail to block it while I swiped a paw at him.

He leapt off of my tail before the paw even gotten close and shouted orders to his subordinates as they rushed on to the scene. They themselves either placed themselves between the Hokage and Konaha or ran back to the village to evacuate those still inside.

Other Ninja's leapt at me, throwing shruikin and kunai at me as my chakra shield blocked their attacks and I used my tails to swipe at them and removed their tree cover. Those puny humans were fleas in comparison to a powerful kitsune such as myself.

The Hokage glared at me as some of the shinobi were being badly injured or—if I had hit them hard enough—killed by my deadly claws. The giant frog whispered to him and the Yondaime nodded before he whispered something so soft that not even I – with my superior hearing—couldn't understand. I knew that they were planning something.

More Ninja attacked, with more jutsus and weapons before I reprimanded them, hitting harder then earlier. I did care if these ningin-no-baka lived or died, in fact they were starting to become more of an annoyance then an actual threat.

A yellow flash rushed by me in an instant and I gave up on wasting my energy on blocking the inferior joniuns and anbu and focused on their leader.

The Hokage moved and swiped at me as I countered his moves and added my own. I felt a sense of excitement and a type of bloodlust that filled me as it had only done before if I had encountered a worthy opponent. This human might even rival that of my weakest rivals, I suppose. It was an incredible fight, my large size might be enough to crush him like an ant of an ant and he was small enough to slip through my guard if I happened to decide to let him live for the next strike.

My ears were pumping with blood and my hearing accelerated to that of all of the humans heartbeats in the village and I could track them with my peripheral hearing. however my understanding of the languages of any other animal—expect for the growls of other kitsune—seemed to slip trough my understanding like trying to stop a waterfall with nothing but the claw of a normal fox kit.

Adrenalin, how have I missed thee?

I leapt in to the air and pounced on the Hokage as if he were my mousy prey. He however had other plans seeing as when I came down on the pounce he maneuvered out of my paws' reach and used his own Chakra to enhance a kunai enough to break through my shield and gave me a shallow cut on my body that I barely noticed until I smelled the iron-tangy smell that was of my blood.

I leapt away from him, slightly impressed with his chakra stamina and an ever-growing amount of respect for the human's skill and power. It was a shame he wasn't born a kitsune.

As time went on in the battle, my respect for the human grew slightly by each strike, just like the strength of the ever increasing smell of my own, both human and my own.

Our eyes met for a moment and I could sense the ever-growing respect from him too, for we both were worthy opponents. But then he babbled something in human, and by the way his shinobi reacted, my guess is that it was an order.

We attacked for a few moments before he leapt back on to the toad he summoned—I had forgotten that he was there for a moment—and one of the Shinobi leapt on to the toad and handed the Hokage a small bundle.

After a couple of whiffs I barely noticed it but one of the Yondaime's scents had grown stronger, and it wasn't until I had heard the bawling of an infant that it stuck me that it was the scent of the new born kit I was smelling. I saw it and realized that the kit looked just like the Hokage... meaning that it was his.

**_That (insert a really bad curse word here) idiot! _**What kind of father takes his kit out in to the middle of a battlefield where its chances of survival were next to zero!

Seeing as the kit's mother wasn't here to protest this, I could only assume that she might have been dead, or was just simply gone, for after a female gives birth, her material instincts were even more powerful then anything else in the world.

Faster than a flood of water drenched a flame of fire my respect to the Hokage disappeared, and a kitsune's good opinion once lost, is lost forever. After all we kitsune keep our kits safe in the den while we fight our battles for they are our heirs, and we must keep our heirs alive for as long as we can.

I looked at him and although he might have sensed that I looked down upon him now as if he were scum, he seemed to still respect me.

He lifted his kit up by the shoulders as the blanket fluttered to the ground next to the toad. I hesitated in attacking him, for I just don't attack kits, ever. 

Then he performed a jutsu as soon as he noticed my falter and I bellowed in pain as all nine of my tails felt as if they were being ripped off of my back side and being dragged in to the belly of the kit.

Of course, the Chakra systems of a newborn kit could handle having a huge amount of energy sealed inside of them without receiving nasty side effects.

"Is that the Kyuubi's voice I heard?" A familiar feminine voice growled out in the distance as I felt my stomach drop in panic. It wasn't until the Hokage spoke again that I brought my attention back to the situation at hand.

"Kitsune-sama, I will give you a choice," the father yelled slowly as my ears began to understand what he was saying. "You will promise me that you will learn to walk a mile in a human's shoes before terrorizing a village, or die."

I growled and cursed at him for a few minutes before I sighed in defeat, suddenly sensing a numbing sensation all over my body, my Chakra systems just barely keeping me alive for another minute before my pride decided to step aside in order for me to insure that I will stay alive.

"Fine! I promise you stupid human!" I hissed. He began to glow for a second and placed the infant in to the tongue hold of the frog he was standing on and began to glow even brighter.

I felt an extreme pain cover my body before I blacked out. The last thing I heard was that damn brat's screaming and whisker marks began to form on his cheeks. **_My_** whisker marks!

I don't know how long it was until I woke up, but when I did, at first I didn't even think I was alive, for my senses were so dull. Then I opened my eyes and growled, a human's voice filled my ears and it sounded more like a moan then a growl.

My heart skipped a beat as I noticed that my eye sight was lacking and sat up in a human hospital bed, wearing a human hospital gown, and looking at human hands that should have been my paws! I pinched them to make sure that they were real, they hurt. Instantly my hands shot up to my the top of my head searching for kitsune ears only to find that there were only human ears were on the sides of my head. Thinking fast I climbed out of bed and turned in to a complex, and surprisingly flexible pretzel knot in order to look toward my lack of kitsune tails before I collapsed in to a hyperventilating mass of human and hospital gown muttering 'my tails, my tails, my tails!'

It took me a whole minute of this panicking frenzy before I calmed down long enough to figure out that this was the perfect escape from the fate I fled from this morning.

But now I, the ultimate Kyuubi, the nine tailed fox, was now a human with a half of a tail and a human brat somewhere out there in the village with the rest of my tails sealed inside.

I growled in slight loathing as a nurse walked in and called for a doctor saying I was having a panic attack.

Fate must love irony; for she gave me a whole lot of it... figures.

An:

Scribble Donamarine: Well that's the prologue. I think the next chapter will have a time skip in it too.

TassthePhoenix: Bwa hahahahaha! Making people suffer is fun; unless you are the one suffering... then it's not fun.

Scribble Donamarine: I've been thinking...

Tass: Ah Crap.

Scribble: What? I just had an idea and I wanted to know if you were interested.

Tass: I sense impeding doom.

Scribble: My idea is that after a chapter I could write a short story or a weak fan fic idea I keep coming up with, just like those manga short stories you find at the end of a volume or just like in the fan fic A Mother and her Kit by Hyper Guyver. What do you think Tass?

Tass: Meh, Do what ever you want, you write a whole lot better then me.

Scribble: uh thanks for the complement, but you come up with interesting story ideas too!

Tass: I can't write to save my life.

Scribble: Have you even tried?

Tass: Yes.

Scribble: Ah well, so what do you readers think? Read and Review Please.


	2. Another boring day Omake theater

An:

Shcribble: Here's chapter two of Fate's Irony. If you guys didn't know, chapter two starts twelve years after chapter one. Oh! And it's Tass-the-phoenix's birthday!

Tass-the-phoenix: POCKEY!!!!!! BE HAPPY! BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TOO!!!!!!!!

Chapter 2

Another Boreing Day.

It's been twelve years since the day I woke up as a human and that I had slept for about six hours before hand when the nurse, falsely thinking, called in a human doctor thinking I was having a 'panic attack'. I think she was fired a week later or something.

I've been living as a human for twelve years in a small apartment outside the main stream of Konoha and the residential area. It's somewhat a secluded sanctuary, remote, and most of all private.

The apartment is old, clean, and very quiet with other foxes in the area taking den in the abandoned old rooms no one owns anymore. Hell, even my land lord doesn't care about this place. Either that or he suspects that I'm the Kyuubi – which is true—and is afraid that I might eat him in his sleep if he doesn't let me stay in my room free of rent.

If I was a nice guy, or a more verbal one, I would at least say that it's kind of nice to live here. But since I'm not I'll say it can't hold a candle to my old den… which is also true.

I awake with dawn, seeing as humans are diurnal creatures, and years of being a fox made me aware of the coming dawn. Once awake, I bathe, dress, and groom myself before grabbing a bite to eat before doing my daily worship… of the dart board.

It's not just any dart board might I add; oh no, it has a picture of the Yondaime taped on it. The darts are constructed of plastic with a metal needles for the pointed end of the darts. The four stabilizing 'feathers' on the back have the Konoha leaf symbol on their faces, and they are all green in color.

As immature as the dart board and its use might be, I found that it has been an excellent stress reliever for the longest time with out drawing too much attention to myself, as well as a respectful way to curse the dead and abstracting a private revenge against him for turning me human in the first place! That and or some drunken alter ego of mine would say I can't control Voodoo dolls to save my life.

It also has its uses for weapon practice at the academy where I attend classes. Although for the past twelve years I have remained not too unchanged, I still look like an adult in the late teens or early twenties in human years, it has taken me all this time to get strong enough to attend classes at the academy just like any other damn human-brat-ninja-wannabe.

A sad fate for a former magnificent creature such as a kitsune like myself yes, but I have to re-earn my tails some how. Or at least strong enough to break the Yondaime's seal on his brat and get them back. This might take a while.

My hair is still red as it always was, which I've grown to reach mid thigh and two shorter more stubborn tufts actually stick up like my former ears. Two strands of hair always hang over my shoulders and down the front like a vest.

Now don't get any ideas, such as that I don't trust a human with a pair of scissors near my head, or that it's to make up the lack of kitsune fur and ears I used to have, or that it makes less to transform in to a woman to lure and punish the impure humans of Konoha, it's nothing like that at all…

My strong long jaw structure still looks like that of a fox and above it are six whisker marks that used to be real whiskers at one time. I have a tall slim and strong body structure that I am thankful to have, for it's still the physique of my former fox body. My eyes are no longer red, but are a close enough hazel brown to have the same effect as my red ones used to have. Only human-if-ied.

I pulled on a black pair of pants with a navy blue tee shirt and a black jacket that was long enough to reach the middle of my thighs and loose comfortable sleeves. I wore the traditional sandals of a fellow shinobi. In bright red letters that was easy to read on the back of my jacket was my message to the entire village of Konoha, 'Your village called, they want their idiot back.'

As I threw the darts, feeling them slip out of my fingers with a twirl, I watched them arch until they hit the target about a second later, in between those hateful blue eyes of the Fourth Hokage I once fought. As I have said before, once the good opinion of a kitsune is lost, it's lost forever.

My hands are out of darts, and the sun has risen further in to the sky… time to head to that despicable demeaning academy to, so to say, earn my stripes.

As I approached the academy I heard yelling and some childish laughter which I noted before hurrying to the academy, thankful that I wasn't the chunnin in charge of looking after the freaking tail-brat of the fourth's. Damn, loud, noisy, attention seeking, prankster of a… kit.

I would praise him for causing such distress on a deserving village, if he wasn't the kit of the damn man who placed me in this situation and he is the carrier of my tails.

I arrived at the academy on time and took my seat in the back as the time for class to begin didn't.

Hmm… that darn flustering human male with the scar on the bridge of his nose, Iruka-sensei, must be occupied by that tail brat. I wonder what that brat did now.

I sat back in the back of the class room and pulled out a glass bottle hidden under the desk I sat at every day. Inside were art supplies and a rolled up scroll. While I'm waiting, I might as well do something constructive.

I carefully sketched my drawing in to that of a humanized vixen wearing a large crimson kimono of a geisha with light red to orange and yellow flames; a kitsune should be embroidered on the back I think. The drawing vixen is also leaning over a huge tree root some what seductively, but not at all suggestively. If any thing she looks like a female version of myself. If she weren't a design for my latest jutsu, I sure I could sell her and make some money off of it.

I looked up to watch as some of the other students entered the class room and carefully stowed away the vixen drawing and tried to think of something else. Sadly my art skills suck at drawing anything but jutsu designs. My ears picking up the sounds of gossip, it seems that the Yondaime's kit went and graffited on the hokage monument.

I'll need my camera after school I think.

"Naruto!" Iruka-sensei growled as he dragged that tail-brat in all tied up. Ah, speak of the devil.

I barely ignored Iruka-sensei's lecture but obeyed with out complaint when he told me that Naruto had earned us all a chance to review the henge-no-jutsu. I smirked at my best subject.

As the line went on, I heard some spoiled self-centered babies bitch to the tail brat about them suffering due to his screw ups. I suppose I should go over there and set things straight, but that would make me a nice guy, weak, and human. I am none of those things and he is also the tail brat, the carrier of my tails by that damn jutsu crated by that damn fourth, and did nothing to deserve my kindness or pity.

So I did nothing, the worst thing one human can do to another. My ultimate revenge to that fourth, but I suppose some would call this an immature act, but the kit has done nothing to call for my attention, or addressed me with anything.

"Kitsu Kyumaru"

Iruka-sensei called my name—the one they gave me at that hospital twelve years agon—and smiled at my performance as I passed; being a former kitsune has its advantages when it comes to henges, for it's what we naturally do.

The tail brat was next.

He smirked and I revived a sinking feeling like the time I was convinced I was being watched practicing my latest Jutsu in the woods.

"Henge!" He yelled and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. As the smoke cleared there stood a naked adult version of the tail brat.

I froze.

Iruka-sensei nearly fainted from a massive nosebleed. My respect for that man just shrank now.

Naruto-no-damn-tail-brat transformed back in to his original form and said "I call it the Sexy-no-Jutsu!"

The name snapped me out of my frozen state. My mind flashing to the drawing I did earlier with its name written right next to the vixen. Its name was Sexy-no-Jutsu.

**That f----- damn tail brat stole my jutsu! The jutsu I planned to use against the disgusting male humans who needed to be punished by kitsune! That tail brat stole that perfect jutsu and made it in to such smut! Making the female naked! IT was a disgrace to all of my hard work.**

Had I acted upon my impulses I would have clobbered the kit in to oblivion, ripping him apart so I could satisfy my inner demon pleasures. But that could attract attention to me and Iruka-sensei would have to intervene. Not only that, but he's also has my tails and if he dies so do they! Not to mention saying something would make the world think I was some sort of pervert!

So I satisfied myself with a tick mark on an expressionless face. That's it; tonight I'm throwing a hundred darts at that picture of the fourth for reproducing in the first place, or having reproductive relatives at least.

Time passed when school ended and by the end of the evening I had finished extracting my revenge with the dart board and smirked as the 98th dart caused the picture of the fourth slid off of the dart board with a huge rough hole around his eyes. Needless to say I studied for the genin exam and fell asleep in bed feeling very satisfied, especially now that I get to tape on a new picture of the graffiti hokage monument.

Dawn arose and once I finished my daily routine—that new picture was 15 more satisfying then my last dart target—I proceeded to the ninja academy to take the genin exam, one more thing to thwart at that damn Yondaime, I thought as I took my seat working on the finishing touches of my now defiled jutsu; thanks to that no-good-dirty-rotten-jutsu-stealing-tail-stealing-tail brat. I felt slightly satisfied as I packed up my art supplies for a final time.

Iruka-Sensei told us to wait until our name was called before we could walk in to the examination room to perform the clone technique three times in order to pass. I sighed, doppelgangers aren't my best piece of work, but as a kitsune I had an understanding about the technique. I'll just have to do a little bit of last minute studying. So I opened the textbook but not before something bright orange and blond caught my eye. The tail brat was throwing himself in to a well of self loathing again.

I would have sighed again, but that would have been physically unhealthy and my pride was above sighing. Didn't that damn brat figure out that self loathing was the most pathetic way to look at life, beating the hell out of those who hate you is much—much—more appealing and satisfying. I guess not.

Had I been a nice guy, or even a proper human I might have considered lending him my text book, but who said I wasn't a jerk.

Yet, it would be embarrassing to pass the exam while my tails didn't pass? Damn, why does my pride make me so torn?

Thankfully my name was called by Iruka-sensei before I had to consider thinking about what to do next and took the test.

I felt the cool metal band of my new head band and smirked at my achievement. I, the Kyuubi, am now officially a genin.

As the mothers and fathers congratulated their children I over heard a few women talking amongst themselves, muttering about tail-boy being the only one not to graduate and almost calling him the nine-tailed fox. I find that insulting on so many different levels that it isn't even funny. To think that they think that brat is me! I have yet to understand why.

My face remained the same but on the inside I felt my inner demon growl in a foul mood.

I watched the tail stealing kit walk off to mope as I decided to think about what would happen next—the hokage monument picture could use a few holes I think— should I even consider tutoring him?

… Where did that come from?

Nah, it's not my place and it would ruin my reputation of being a bastard. I mean I see how Iruka-sensei cares for the tail-brat; he should be the one to tutor him right? Isn't that Iruka-sensei's job?

Why the hell am I even thinking about this? It's none of my business.

So I walked off.

It was much later in the evening when a vixen broke in to my apartment to alert to me that my tail's vessel had just done something very rash and very stupid. He stole a scroll, and not just any scroll but one that might have info on the seal placed upon my tails, making me strong enough to become a kyuubi-no-kitsune again! Needless to say I went.

What has that damn-no-good-dirty-rotten-tail-stealing-who-I-swear-is-related-to-the-Yondaime-in-some-way-vessel-brat done now?

An:

Shcribble: Here's Chapter two, how was it?

Tass-the-phoenix: Meh... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Shcribble: Right, here's your cake, the pocky is inside.

Tass-the-phoenix: POCKEY!!!

Shcribble: Okay, uh read and review while I clean up the cake carnage... -.-U oh and instead of short stories we'll place omake theaters that shall answer either fan fic questions, explore fox folklore, or any random side stuff that we come up with, which might create a subplot or something later in the fic. And it will not be in script format.

So here's Omake theater number one!

Kitsune vs Inu

They say that dogs, mirrors, or a kitsune's shadow will reveal a kitsune in disguise. I, the kyuubi, or Kitsu Kyumaru to the humans of Konoha find this little piece of trivia pointless. They even say that we kitsune are mortally afraid of dogs.

Ha! I laugh at such foolishness.

I sit in Iruka-sensei's class working my way to become a genin listening to him rant on and on while I take notes. A small white movement catches my eye and I look at that Inuzuka boy, his mutt, what ever his name is catches my eye.

He's staring at me...

So naturally I stare back. I try to look slightly menacing so he will stop looking. He does not move his eyes.

We held our eye contact for what seemed like hours.

Ba-bump, ba-bump.

Stupid human hearts, they start racing at inappropriate moments. I have no idea what causes them.

Drip, drip, drip.

Damn humans are inefficient when it comes to temperature, I'm sweating and it feels cold. What I'd give to have my old fur coat back...

I'm shaking violently, but I don't dare break eye contact. Must be low blood sugar.

I remember the foxes, who I share my apartment complex with, telling stories of human hunters who will use dogs to track down and scare foxes out and the humans would ride horses and bellow horns as they chased the foxes before catching them, killing them, placing their hides in front of the fire place, and I would shudder to think of what they do to the remaining bodies. At least it's not fox hunting season... right?

Right?!

I hold up my calm facade as I held my staring contest when I hear a horn bellow nearby. I jump as does Akataru or what ever he's called and I followed my instincts.

PLAY DEAD!!!!

I awoke in the school infirmary with Iruka-sensei looking over my bed side while the faint smell of human waste filling my nose.

"Are you alright? The moment the bell rang for class to end you jumped up, screamed 'Fox hunting season' in a high feminine voice and passed out, may I ask what happened?"

We foxes are not afraid of dogs, far from it, we are afraid of what they represent.


	3. The Fox is out of the Bag!

An: Schribble Donamarine: Hey, I'm going to be talking in this Author's note solo today because my sister won't be able to attend. Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto... But I kind of wish we did...

Chapter 3

The Fox's Out of the Bag!

(Mostly)

I promptly exited out of my apartment about less than sixty seconds after the vixen's message about the tail brat.

I braided my hair to keep it out of my face and in control while I ran around it the woods and might have to fight.

That damn tail brat had better be alright, he has my tails and if anything happens to him, happens to them.

The Vixen was more than happy to guide me on Naruto's scent trail, seeing as my human nose is lacking in that department.

"He's in that clearing Kyuubi-sama." The vixen replied in our native tongue as I thanked her back in the same language.

Voices filled my ears, those of Naruto, Iruka-sensei, and Mizuki-sensei. I decided that it would be best if I hid in the local foliage, waiting for the appropriate time to rush in and steal that wonderful, powerful, savior scroll, which shall save me from this situation I am forever cursed in to. I believe it is obvious that this human form is started to get to me.

"Do you know why the villagers hate you so much Naruto?" Mizuki-sensei replied taking a threatening position, a giant shuriken held over his crouched back. "Do you want to know, why they have looked upon you in such hatred and disgust?"

Because my tails are sealed inside him…. Maybe? I rolled my eyes; I don't care if the villagers are a collection of morons.

"You are the monster who attacked Konoha twelve years ago, Naruto; you are the Kyuubi-no-kitsune!"

Let us all sit back and marvel at this man's stupidity. For one thing, I am not a monster, I am a demon, and there is a difference. Another thing, why would a powerful, majestic, and dangerous kitsune such as moi, be stupid enough to be sealed inside a simple-minded, ramen obsessed, prankster brat such as Naruto?

I looked out and saw Naruto's shocked face, the face of someone who been told he had been accused of brutally murdering someone. Oh well, no skin off my back…. But then again, this might send him down a spiral of suicide, or go insane and use my name as his excuse, or have the village execute him for something he didn't even do, or…. What is this tight feeling in my chest? It bothers me, and so does the well being of the kit, when did I start calling him a kit? Well…. I suppose I have a reason, after all… he has my tails, … he terrorizes the villagers… he's the artist of the hokage monument… class isn't boring with him around, and… he grows on you, like a fungus, …or a wart.

Where did that come from?

That seemed to hurt Naruto for he ran out of the clearing in as fast as a comet in the sky. The scroll clutched tightly to his body.

"Miss," I whispered to the vixen, "follow the tail brat and watch after him, I wish to speak to him privately and I don't want any of the villagers to find him. Can you do that?"

"Of course Kyuubi-sama, you want to clear your reputation don't you?" she replied as she ran off. I can trust her to get things done properly.

Any way, like a fox stalking a pair of rabbits—I love that analogy—I tailed the two adult ninja using old hunting methods I had spent the last thousand years perfecting.

Time following them seemed to pass; the trail I followed them by was only seconds old. I kept out of sight, just as I allowed them out of my sight, for there was no need to hurry, seeing as long as I had a fresh trail and stayed alert, it was no problem for me. With my grace, skil—I felt a tug at my foot as it got caught on a tree root and I failed to catch myself as I did a face plant.

Ow…. I… meant to do that!

* * *

By the time I found them again—ack my poor nose! —Naurto was found in the clearing with a battered and thrashed Mizuki on the forest floor and Iruka-sensei had removed those goggles on Naruto's forehead and replaced it with a Konoha headband, Iruka-sensei's headband to be precise.

Naruto seemed excited at the concept on becoming a genin, Iruka-sensei seemed proud, and what the hell is this warm fluffy feeling that makes me feel as if I'm about to cry! I should be gagging with all of the fluff crap in the air! That must be why my eyes are watering, of course it stinks so bad my nose won't tell me, especially in this damn human body! I'm getting choked up over nothing!

The Vixen is looking at me weird. She seemed to take the opportunity of my distraction to crawl under the bushes and take crawl around my feet.

Once I conquered this strange emotion I walked out of the bush and clapped my hands. "Amazing, the vessel of the tails of the kitsune have finally caught up with the rank of the kyuubi-no-kitsune." I smirked proudly, if they aren't smart enough to figure out my hint, then they don't deserve to be called shinobi.

"What do you mean vessel of the tails?" Naruto barked back.

See what I mean?

"How do you know about Naruto being the vessel of the kyuubi-no-kitsune?" Iruka sensei remarked, suspicious and alert. The smart man seems to be testing me.

I smirked, "Correction, Naruto is the vessel of the tails, who wouldn't know if they witness the sealing?" I raised an eyebrow.

"And you saw it all those years ago?"

Smart man that Iruka. Of course his name does mean dolphin...

"Of course I saw it, why wouldn't I?"

"Are you the Kyuubi-no-kitsune?!" Naruto accursed, I have to give the brat more credit then I have originally given him.

"The mind, soul, and body, but not the power of the Kyuubi-no-kitsune," I explained, eyeing Iruka-sensei's hands as he prepared a kunai, possibility to be prepared in case I try something. "The Yondaime at least was cruel enough to remove my pride and transformed me in to a human and sealed my tails in to the tail-brat here. So it was transform in to a human, not harm the village as a promise or die." I said, Iruka-sensei understood what I was saying, it's a well know fact that we kitsune are bound by our words, a broken promise means broken bones for us.

I could tell that Naruto was still eyeing me suspiciously.

"If that's all, I shall leave, and return home." I turned and waved a farewell. "Good night Iruka-sensei, Damn tail-brat."

Before I left the clearing the yondaime-look-alike jumped in front of me and glared at me. "What is your problem with me stupid fox?"

I stopped and raised an eyebrow daring him to explain more.

"You've been a complete and utter jerk to me for as long as I've known you and yet once you announce that there is a connection between you and me you seem to use that as an excuse to hate me even more!"

"Listen you snot-nosed gravel brained niggin, I do have a valid reason to hate you, you are my tail vessel, you stole a jutsu of mine, you look like the man I despise so much, and you are the only link to a proper revenge besides pictures." Alright I might have said a little much, but sometimes a little heart to heart is good for the soul.

"Those are the dumbest reasons I have ever heard." he snapped back.

"They are not, they are valid and well thought out justified reasons as to why I should hate your guts more then anyone."

I don't think the gaki-no-bi wanted to have another person hate him so responded with a:

"They are not, those are lame reasons to hate someone, it's not like I did anything to you, or had a choice to be the vessel of your tails so stop blaming me with things beyond my control!"

Meanwhile Iruka-sensei stood on the sidelines ready to step in if necessary after all, Naruto was like a little brother or a son to him and Kyumaru was another one of his students who had social issues, even though Kyumaru is the kyuubi-no-kitsune. He'd have to have a word with him after Naruto was finished with him.

"Blaming you! Oh like you didn't do anything to me, plagiarizer and defiler of a good jutsu! Besides it's that Yondaime I blame not you!"

"Well then stop acting like it stupid Fox! I'm _not_ the Yondaime, and you act like you have a stick up your ass!"

"I do not gaki-no-bi!"

"Do to!"

Okay Kyuubi old boy, don't sink to his level.

"That argument right there sounds like something that could come from a prokaryote organism!"

Ha! Try to figure out that one kit... What am I thinking? I'm calling him a kit again! Damnit! He _is_ like a fungus!

"WHAT! Why I aughta..." Naruto muttered...

Did he really figure out that I called him a bacteria cell?

"...I don't know what you called me but you are so going to pay for it!" It said again.

Huh, I guess not.

"Alright, Alright, that is enough Naruto, Kyumaru." Iruka-sensei interrupted as he stepped in to the space between me and Naruto. "Is this really the behavior of ninja?"

The Chunin's got a point.

"Sorry Iruka-sensei." Both Naruto and I apologized at the same time as if we were back in the academy again.

"Good, now I wish to talk to each of you individually, starting with Kyumaru." He and I walked to the other side of the clearing.

"Before you say anything," I spoke before Iruka-sensei could fully move his mouth to speak. "What I said about the promise I made to the Yondaime years ago was true. I will not attack the village or anyone who lives in the village."

"That's good, now let's make something clear, do not take your anger out on Naruto, the kid's already had a hard enough life with out it." Iruka-sensei replied looking at Naruto as if he was looking at one of his own close kin. Knowing the man, he probably does view the brat to be kinsmen.

"Fine." I'll just have to find another way to be cruel to him.

"Promise me you would at least take care of Naruto." The man's asking for the moon.

I suppressed a snort and eye rolling. " I will make no such promise, if I start giving the kid attention like that, he won't become any stronger, after all a wise living creature, once said 'what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.'"

"Then, how about _you_ help him become stronger." Iruka suggested.

"Hm, but only if you are willing to help me regain my original form, no help from you, no help to Naruto, do we have a deal?" I asked him holding my hand out to shake.

"Fine, but only if my help is legal." Smart man, Iruka-sensei.

"Fair enough." I replied and took his hand to shake.

* * *

"So Kyuubi-sama, did you find what you wanted in the scroll?" The vixen asked the moment I reentered my apartment. I froze... I knew I forgot something! DAMNIT,

DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!!!!

"Apparently not." other foxes observed as the sun finished rising in the horizon.

With my photo appointment for my ninja application in ten hours I decided to set my outfit, hair care and shower supplies, and other things I would need before I set my alarm and plopped myself in to bed, only to find that I couldn't fall asleep.

Damn you internal biological clock!

* * *

The next day I arrived at the ninja academy early and took a seat in my usual spot, missing my art supplies that I had taken home on the day of my exam and waited for the others to arrive. Naruto surprisingly entered with out a grand entrance but was rudely pushed a side by a girl.

I did nothing again, not out of spite this time, but because my promise did not say that I had to protect Naruto from girls who only wanted to sit next to that dark, silent child in the corner.

Don't those girls know that it's always the quiet ones that go bad to the point they lose sanity? From personal experience I know. He is already a cracked egg waiting to burst any moment now.

Iruka-sensei made his entrance when the bell rang and I listened to his instructions and listened intently to the teams, only to momentarily forget who was on which team, seeing as none of them affected me, I didn't care.

The list went on and on until he read the last one.

Wait a minute, I'm not on that list, neither is the tail brat, the rude-pinky-fan-girl, nor brooding-dark-silent-boy in the corner.

That can only mean one thing.

Oh Hell.

"And Introducing our only four man team, Haruno Sakura, Kitsu Kyumaru, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka you evil, evil little man!

**

* * *

**

Omake Theater

**Ramen vs. Udon **

Lunch time came around quicker then any I would have liked. I sit in my seat still fuming at how evil Iruka-sensei is, although that man knows how make sure someone upholds their promises.

I pull out my thermos filled with freshly home made Kitsune Udon, which is made of broth, Atsuage, some fish cake slices with a pink swirl called Naruto (not the person), leek, and of course wide noodles. I am very proud of my recipe, incase you haven't noticed, that and a quiet uninterrupted lunch.

"Oi, Baka-Kitsune!"

I spoke too soon.

"What do you want Naruto?" I asked sadly letting the unbitten chopstick full of noodles slip beneath the broth surface.

"Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme aren't going to eat lunch with me and you're sitting here all alone and..." Naruto began but I figured out his motive.

"And you think you would be better off sharing a lunch with me because you never had someone except the Sandaime and Iruka-sensei spent any time with you before is that it?" I muttered coldly. If I had any human morals I assume I might see this as a great in justice to the gaki-no-bi. Naruto began to sadly walk off before I grabbed the back of his jacket and jerked him in to the seat right next to me. He stared at me like I suddenly transformed back in to my original form or grew an extra head.

"Don't just sit there, did you want to eat in my presence or not?" I replied slightly gentler then before.

He grinned as if I had just given him the Hokage position and pulled out an instant ramen cup and a badly scratched up and cracked thermos that gave out luke-warm water.

"That thermos is a piece of shit. Are you sure you want the water it has?" I asked eyeing the thermos.

Naruto just seemed to sigh, as if I had reached a touchy subject. "I have an old one that I guess I can hand-me-down it." I muttered before realizing I had said it aloud.

"Really?"

"It's a maybe kit, my neighbors have it."

"I didn't know you were the generous type." Naruto replied.

"I'm not; a vixen had a litter on it, now she uses it for her nest. Any way why am I saying this stuff to you?" I grumbled, thankful the room was empty.

Naruto shrugged.

"Because you see me as a friend?" Naruto asked me with hope in his eyes.

"Ha, not likely, I see you as the vessel of my tails." I laughed quietly.

"Teme." my lunch partner muttered.

"You're looking at my true nature; do you think I go my reputation as the most powerful of the Buji by being nice?" I raised an eyebrow. "Any way, how can you eat that stuff?" I changed the subject.

"You don't like Ramen?" Naruto asked innocently lifting his cup.

"Never met a ramen I liked." I replied.

The tail brat looked at me like I had said the most scandalous news of the century. It probably was to him.

"How can you not like Ramen?"

"One, it barely has any nutrients, two, the noodles have a weird sandy texture when they come out of the cup, three, what kind of ingredients do you think go with ramen, certainly not salmon chunks to chicken ramen."

"Ew..." Naruto muttered sticking his tongue out at that notion I mentioned.

"And reason number four is the broth is too weak and watery. " I finished ranting.

"Well then try mine!" Naruto insisted, pushing his cup forward.

"No thank you." I replied.

"Oh come on!"

"No way."

"Fine!"

I sat in my seat surprised at Naruto's sudden cry of defeat as I dipped my chopsticks in to my meal and brought the victory noodles and tasted pork on them... Kitsune udon has oven baked tofu triangles in it, not pork... I looked down, at the cup.

Of instant Ramen.

"So why is this called kitsune udon, you don't chop up little foxes and cook them do you?" My udon thief asked as he lifted up an atsuage triangle with his chopsticks and eyed them.

* * *

An: Shcribble: Another chapter done, as was 2006... Wow seems like yesterday I was trying to stay up on the New Years Eve 2005 to 2006.

Now my New Years Resolution is to get more writing done this year, so hopefully that will mean that I update my fan fics at least once every two weeks. But I'm going to need help so that means that someone in my review should at least pester me in to updating soon. Any Volunteers?

Astuage is oven baked tofu triangles or strips that are placed in dishes like Inari Sushi or Kitsune Udon. I tried some Udon (I don't know what kind, most likely Kitsune but I think it might have been Tanuki Udon) on my seventeenth birthday and enjoyed it.

What Kyuubi is describing is my Ramen experiments gone wrong. It's amazing what could go wrong when a hungry teenager is in the kitchen isn't it?


	4. Genin

An: Shcribble Donamarine: Hello It's me again! I'm updating again so here's your chapter.

Oh and by the way, Sakura fans don't be angry at me if there is something somewhat mean is said in this chapter about her. I think Sakura is an entertaining character and I especially like her AFTER the time skip. But in this fic, Kyubbi doesn't have much respect for her yet so he will have some not so nice things to say about her. For you Sakura haters out there, don't worry, she won't be the ultra cool Sakura or something like that, I plan on doing some character development with her (Well, with everybody) and she will probably stay as in character as I can make her. But if you have any comments on how I portray ANY of the characters, please let me know.

On another note; Kakashi fans, if you don't like how I portray him either, Please tell me how to write him I practically wrote this chapter with a Naruto manga in my hand so that way he stays in character! Sigh, if anyone out there has successfully written Kakashi could you please give me tips on how to write him with using a manga for reference?

If you guys haven't noticed, I am alone again in the Author's notes... And my sister and I don't own Naruto.** No little birdies were harmed in the making of this fic!**

Chapter 4

Genin

"Where is our sensei?"

I bit back a groan, trying not to express the same irritation as the rest of my teammates. Yes our sensei's late, but I will not act like a twelve year old genin brat and whine. I am much too mature and we kitsune do not whine like small children.

Dark-and-brooding is well, brooding, while the rude-pinky-fan-girl was swooning over him, and tail-brat seemed to be plotting something... Then he stood up and grabbed an eraser off of the chalk board in the now empty class room, all the other teams of genin had left already with their senseis.

Gah.

Naruto chuckled as he grabbed a stool and climbed on top to wedge the eraser in the sliding door.

Pinky scolded him, but I didn't put any effort in to paying any attention to what she was saying. I don't care at all.

Brood boy mentioned something about jounin never falling for such pranks like that.

"Shut up! I'm sure that you can't come up with a better trap!" Naruto responded.

I believe I'm experiencing a new emotion, I believe it's called Boredom. I fight the urge to roll my eyes, I shouldn't really rely on sarcasm; it's the weapon of the weak.

"I bet this is the best trap ever!" Naruto bragged. I looked at him, then the "trap"... pathetic.

Better show this brat how's it's done.

I worked on setting up a carefully constructed, complex, snare complete with rope, kunai, shuriken, and to my personal approval, a bear trap. To hide the trap, I casted a low chakra genjutsu that would have been perfectly hidden it if I had plenty of demon chakra; smirking and rolling my tongue over my upper canines on my teeth, a habit I had developed from my demon days. My fellow genin look at each other before looking at me like I was insane.

Once done, I decided to design a new jutsu, something the damn-jutsu-stealer won't copy.

Slowly I sketched out a form of myself and a red chakra fox that swirled around me, ready to shred my enemies to gory bits.

I paused as I heard footsteps come down the hallway... A young male in his mid-twenties, tall, well trained, and he's right out side our door. I looked up to greet this new victim.

A hand pushed the door aside and as Naruto had estimated, had the eraser land on his head.

Amazing...One trap down and...

He sidestepped my trap looking at if as if I had painted it bright pink on purpose, before disabling it with a kunai, ignoring Pinky's sayings about her immature teammates and how she was innocent in all this.

How did he dodge a trap that caught kages?! Was there something wrong with the genjutsu? It worked perfectly back when I had my nine tails... my nine tails... not enough chakra damn it! And secondly...

Well what do you know, Pinky's a brown-noser.

(An: Once again, my apologies to all you Sakura fans out there!)

"Well, from my first impression of all four of you." The silver haired one eyed man with a black face mask said, pausing for an effect before continuing, "I hate you all."

...You've got to be kidding...

"Well then, let's meet in the roof for proper introductions shall we?" The sensei remarked.

What a strange man, a strange, frustrating, irritating, confusing enigma.

Once we settled on the roof our sensei... still don't know his damn name damn it, said that it might be best to introduce ourselves.

"Like what?" Pinky asked. I listened; he might give out some vital information after all.

"... You know the usual, your likes, dislikes, dreams, ambitions, hobbies. Things like that." the bored eyed man replied.

"How about you go first?" The blonde haired nuisance, carrier of my tails asked. "Show us how it's done."

'Show us how it's done?' Good grief, those damn villagers should have at least instructed him on how to say hello at least!

"That's right," Pinky agreed with dumb and sheltered here. "You're a stranger to us."

"Oh...Me?" Bored eye seemed to realize before speaking again. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. I don't feel like talking about my interests or dislikes. My dreams are none of your business, but I have a lot of hobbies."

A regular loose lipped chatterbox aren't' you Bored eye?  
"Alright let's hear about you redhead." it said to me.

"Kitsu Kyumaru, I like darts and..." I paused bearing my teeth menacingly and rolled my tongue over my canines before continuing. "Revenge. My dislikes are ramen," I can hear the tail brat squeak in protest, "and a certain collection of morons I would rather not mention. My only goals so far are to get something back that's mine, and to achieve enlightenment in order to escape a certain fate."

Silence.

"I believe your next." I said turning to the tail brat.

This snapped Naruto out of the daze I seemed to place them in and smiled. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like ramen, and hate the three minute wait for when the noodles are ready," for crying out loud this kid needs to be introduced to better foods. I know I'm not feeding him. Plus Naruto has to learn the hard way; experience is the best teacher after all. " My hobbies are pulling pranks and training, and my dream is to become a great and respected acknowledged shinobi!"

Huh, some dream.

"Alright how about you?" Bored eye asked Broody.

"Uchiha Sasuke." Broody said quietly but his words seemed to travel. "I don't like many things, and dislike many things. I don't have a dream, but an ambition, to kill a certain someone."

Broody here seems to live up to his 'it's always the quiet ones' stereotype quite perfectly.

"Haruno Sakura, my likes..." she blushed and burst in to giggles sneeking a peek at Dark and Broody. " My dreams..." more giggles, they make me shudder and hurt my ears, "... and..." more giggles, shoot me now!

"... And your dislikes?" Bored eye-sensei asked. Brave man Bored eye, brave man. I prepared to cover my ears to Pinky's giggles.

Pinky's face dropped the stupid dumb broad act and picked up the five year old with cooties look. "Naruto."

The damn tail brat nearly had a heart attack.

I felt tempted to either; laugh, sigh, roll my eyes, pat Naruto on the back, or make a comment on the general immaturity all of my teammates displayed and ask Bored eye-sensei for a different team. On second thought, havoc wreaking, massacring, and throwing darts sounds much more interesting now.

"Now that we understand each other, formal training starts tomorrow." Bored eye-sensei replied breaking me out of my sweet morbid thoughts.

"Yes! Finally, so what kind of training is it?" Tail brat asked excitedly.

Finally, after all these years, my chakra coils can now grow strong enough to handle this shinobi training and I'll be one step closer to getting my tails back!

"Survival training." Kaskashi-sensei explained.

I smirked remembering the days of a kitsune; this will be easy, too easy... "What's the catch?" I inquired.

Bored eye looked at me and answered. "You will survive against me."

"Sounds good to me." I smirked, I a kitsune, I've survived worse, with my repulsive... training buddy, yeah that's what she was. Tongue roll over canines again.

And with that I got up to leave. "Wait," Sensei called.

I paused.

"Here are the details to your assignment." He explained handing me the assignment on a sheet of paper. I took it and left.

The next morning I waited at the training grounds with my weapons, few extra darts, incase I get bored, and my hair tied up in a braid so that way it won't get in my way.

My teammates waited with me from dawn to ten o'clock.

By then Tardy Bored eye arrived. Forget all the times I called him sensei.

"Morning class!" He called.

"You're late!" Pinky and Tail brat yelled.

Why do I have feeling this will become routine?

Bored eye reached in to a pocket in his vest and pulled out three bells. "The survival exam is a timed one," He began as he reached in to his back pack and pulled out an alarm clock set to noon, and placed on a nearby stump. "This alarm clock will go off at noon, before the alarm rings you need to steal a bell from me to pass. Come at me as to kill me if you are serious about passing this test."

I remember reading about this test, it suddenly makes sense, it appears that the loser gets tied to a stump, has lunch eaten before them, and then is shipped to the academy.

"Ready, Set, Go!" Bored eye said as all four students sprang in to action, hiding from site like predator stalking prey.

I found a large tree that suited my hiding needs and leapt in to the branches, years of being a Kitsune made this skill elementary, same as thievery. This test is going to be a sinc—what the hell is the tail brat doing out in the open challenging our sensei with those loud words...What is this a match up in a tournament?

Naruto yelled although I couldn't hear, I think I know what he's saying. He thinks this way is a fight between warriors.

I can barely contain myself when I say, what a moron... those villagers must be rubbing off on him.

Naruto yelled, Kakashi said something, and then he pulled out a bright orange book, and opened it. The Tail-brat yelled in shock and pulled out his kunai ready to fight in blind rage when I did something that I find out of character for myself... I ran out on to the battle field and dragged the Tail-brat off of it and bonked him on the head.

"You idiot, what kind of ninja fights in a blind rage?" I asked once we got to the shelter of the trees. "My father taught me that if I ran out on to a battle field with out a proper plan or let an enemy provoke me in to an attack like that I would die instantly!" Then I left before the kit would question me.

Bored Eye was standing out side of the trees, he's expecting something…. I think it's time I trying a battle against a jounin.

I crouched in a taijustsu stance and began to plan, analyzing my opponent. Adrenaline pumped in my system as my inner demon started demanding a kill… one I shall gladly do. My tongue rolled over my canines and I began to pounce. I remembered the days I fought in kitusne form and remembered what I learned in the academy, adjusting each move to suit my body. I charged.

Bored eye was expecting a full on charge so I veered off to the side and turned to attack his side, he expected this and caught my kunai as I pulled it in a claw like motion.

I abandoned the kunai before he grabbed a hold of me and leap to the side, wishing I still had my tails.

We battle, he'd block all my attacks with ease, the bells were calling, but I needed to find out what his strengths and weaknesses were before I went after them. But what kind of jutsus did this guy have?

Time to find out and test this new jutsu I read about in the academy.

Hare, tiger, ram, dog, bird, ram, tiger, ox, boar, rat, dragon, hare, horse, and dragon again!

"Art of Yokai summoning; Kitsune Hi!" I yelled and threw my palms at Bored eye as he prepared for the attack. Out of my palms came one tiny spark before the jutsu died.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

What the hell?

Bored eye looked at the spark then at me, and seemed to analyze something.

From the numb shock and humiliation came the frustration.

DAMN IT ALL, I STILL DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CHAKRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I charged at my sensei using my emotion to charge my movements like I used to as a kitsune, not letting my frustration blind me, and once he dodged I took my frustration on the mindless destruction of the foliage before me.

A wire tied here, and Kunai thrown here, a ripped branch here, it being torn like cloth in my hands, feet and mouth, and a Shrunken there, and an exploding that there… ah the expulsion is a nice touch to that tree…

I few miniatures later I spat bark and leaves out of my mouth feeling better about the destruction my inner demon wanted and disappeared in to the foliage, I'll have to wait and hid until the time is right.

Time passed and by noon, I hadn't had much luck, Broody, Pinky, and Tail-brat didn't either. Bored eye seemed to have encountered some traps I set for him at one point; I noticed that he didn't get caught by them.

Broody spent some time brooding in the ground before noon, Pinky fainted twice, and the Tail-brat was tied to a stump. Or at least that what I think happened.

Bored eye was unimpressed.

"All four of you fail this test, and I don't think any more schooling would improve anything either." He said. "None of you will ever become Shinobi."

WHAT! You mean after all that crap I had been dealt with I don't have material to be come a shinobi, what kind of sick person is fate?!

"But Sensei, why do we fail!" Pinky protested.

"Sakura, have you even considered why you were put in to teams?" Bored eye asked. "That is the bases of shinobi work, _teamwork!_" Every one but me gasped. There is no why I'm going to act as a team with those idiots. "Sasuke, you felt that the other team mates were beneath you as you ignored them.

"Sakura, you focused everything on Sasuke and ignored Naruto who was right in front of you, and you doubted yourself in doing anything.

"Naruto, you tried to do the work of three or four by yourself.

"Kyumaru…. I'd like to know what you were thinking."

"What do you think?" I snapped back.

"I don't know Kyumaru"—"Kitsu!" that man shouldn't call me by first name!—"I'm not a physic. For a minute I thought you were going to help Naruto, then you run off on him to try your skill against mine, and then once you fail a jutsu, you threw a fit (?) or a very clever ruse and those traps, would have been brutal if I didn't' notice them. So what were you thinking?"

"And why should I tell you?" it's not like it's going to matter? It's not like they earned my respect.

Bored eye sighed. "Alright, I'll give you all one more try after lunch, so eat up, except Naruto, he goes hungry. And remember my word is law for this test." And with that he left.

My word is law, what kind of crap is that?

We eat some of the bento with the growl of Naruto filling our ears, despite his reassurances to not feed him. You know it's moments like this you can't help but feel a little sorr—NO No No! I will not become a weak human, if he snoozes he loses!

Broody rolled his eyes and wordlessly offered Naruto his lunch.

Pinky gasped. "But Sasuke! What if Kakashi-sensei finds out!"

Broody glanced at her; that seemed to shut her up. "He has to be miles away from here, and if Naruto goes hungry, he will be weak, and no use to us."

Broody has a point there. I tried to take another bite when dull pain filled all my nerves and I was reminded of my promise to Iruka-sensei... damn you Iruka….so I gave my lunch to the tail brat.

"You too?" Pinky asked.

I glanced at her. "I don't have to worry about feeding myself." I threw a kunai up in to the air, and held my hand out to catch a bird that flew a little too low for safety with my kunai lodged in its breast.

Pinky, Broody, and even the tail brat looked at me flabbergasted as I removed the kunai, plucked off some feathers and bit off the head and began feeding on its meat.

"Ew! Here Naruto, you need to eat right?" Pinky protested and shoved her bento to the tail brat.

"No thanks Sakura-chan, I'm not hungry anymore." Tail brat muttered, and I heard Broody drop his bento box in shock. I looked up, all three were staring at me, each a sickly shade of green, each expressing a 'how can you eat that?' look on their face.

"Look there may come a time where you will have to eat raw meat, even human meat, just to survive." I explained tired of the expressions they were giving me. I don't see what the big deal is? It's just a bird.

Amazing how they hold back vomit.

Then the atmosphere grew tense as our sensei, now looking like an angered god approached us. "YOU!"

The tail brat and Pinky panicked, Broody got his kunai ready for an attack, as I took another bite of bird, but had the bird killing kunai in my hand for safety.

"Pass." He stood up straight and seemed to beam with is one eye.

"What?"

"While it's true that those who break the rules are scum in the shinobi world, but those who ignore the needs of their teammates are lower than scum in my opinion." Bored eye seemed proud of us. Then he noticed something red.

"Is that a bird?" He asked me.

"It's my lunch." I retorted.

"Any way, you all can go home now. Except you Kyumaru, I need to speak to you."  
Broody and Pinky walked away and Tail-brat protested when they left him tied up.

"Tail-brat, if you can remember the rope unbinding Jutsu, I'll buy you something edible." I bribed, or more as my promise made me bribe, but the brat needed to figure out how to get himself out of these situations, and the food would just be an incentive to get out.

"Fine, but you better pay up when I'm out Baka-kitsune!" I don't know why I'm even doing this…

Then he started thinking and I walked away from him to meet up with our sensei. This had better not be about the bird…

"So, what do you think about Konoha, now that you lived like a human for twelve years?" Bored eye asked me.

"Irritating and frustrating." I said with out thinking. "I don't even know why you humans deal with this stuff all your lives."

"Well, I suppose that this type of life would be frustrating to the nine tailed biju." Bored eye replied.

"How did you know I was the…"

"Kyuubi? The Yondaime was my sensei. I saw and heard every thing when he defeated you. I'm here to make sure you learn my Sensei's final lesson."

I was about to retort about what I felt about his sensei when I felt a presence, one I did not wish to feel, not now, not ever, creeping closer and closer.

My heart started pumping, I fought my own instincts to move and run, knowing that in this state, and it's the only thing I can do to survive three seconds longer then staying still.

I felt the presence come closer, and Bored eye-sensei seemed to notice too.

Then I felt the heat on my back and a mouth move to my ear in a sickly sweet whisper of my worst enemy.

"Hi, honey."

"T-Tomoko?" I stuttered looking at the blue haired woman who had been my life long rival in power, the one who aspired to kill me just so she could hang my pelt on the wall. Her kitsune ears, blue eyes, long sharp fangs, pale skin, familiar black skimpy one piece suit with a low cleavage cut found in Bored eye's Icha Icha Paradise with fish nets for half sleeves and carpi leggings. Her sole blue tail was only an illusion to her real unknown number of tails.

"I missed you honey bunny." Her high soft voice whispered. Bored eye looked interested with the picture he seemed to interpret... only someone who knew Tomoko would know that something was wrong.

"Missed me huh? I was under the impression you hated be with your very being like I do." I replied coldly. Who was she and what did she do to the real Tomoko?

"But I do hate you, Kyuubi sweetie," She muttered just as sweetly picking up a giant battle ax with a blade half her size and a thick handle that she held behind her back, "and it's time for you to **die!" **She lifted her weapon and swung.

**Omake Theater**

**Reality vs. Hope**

We were waiting in the Hokage tower for our first team mission when we heard a loud bang coming from the window right by us. At first I assumed Tomoko was attacking so I jumped and watched as my younger teammates looked out the window and looked down.

"We have to hurry or we won't save the bird!" Pinky yelled as she dragged Tail-brat and Broody after her in a hurry. Intrigued I followed them.

On the cement on the ground a few stories below the window laid a common small brown bird, rocking back and forth in agony on it's back, blood coming from it's broken beak, even if the bird survived it's injuries, there was no way it could eat properly again. Its feet struggled as it to grip some thin air that didn't offer a way to pull itself up.

Pinky seemed to have snapped when she saw it because she leapt in to action. "Sasuke, Naruto, Kyumaru! Don't stand there like idiots get the first aid kit or a box with a blanket or something!" She yelled.

"I know small animal first aid." I said; being a kitsune I knew one way to save it if it didn't die already.

"Alright, Naruto, get a box and something soft to line it! Sasuke, get the first aid kit, I'll get the hot water to sterilize things, Kyumaru, look at the bird!" And with that Pinky pushed the boys in to work.

I knelt next to the bird and looked at it, its wings, beak, and skull were broken, its vertebra was questionable, but it was clear it was still in agony. Top Medic Nins would have difficulty in successfully saving this little bird. Its eyes looked at me with the plea for mercy.

I myself, being a predator, know exactly what to do in this situation. I gently scooped up the bird, stroked it gently and once it calmed said "You don't have to worry any more, I'll ease your suffering."

With a quick hand jerk of a skilled ninja, I broke its neck between my hands and felt its life fade away, knowing that it should be grateful that it didn't have to suffer any more.

I looked up and saw my teammates standing a few feet way, with all the supplies Pinky had demanded, all three had seen what I had done, and were in shock.

"Kyumaru... you... you..." She began.

"Life is cruel, it was the only way I could ease the bird's sufferings was to kill it." I justified. "It should be grateful it's not in pain any more." I looked in to her eyes as if I was talking about the weather.

"You... you... **you asshole! You killed the bird!"** Pinky was suddenly held back by the Tail-brat and Broody although I could tell that they wanted a go at me too.

Then Bored eye sensei came reading his orange smut and looked at the scene before him. "What did I miss?" He asked.

An: Once again; No little birdies were killed in the making of this fic, they were really good actors. Thanks for the 1000 Hits! Wow and in just three chapters!

Another Important point is we can now go off the Manga plot line and use the plot we were planning this whole time! So no more having this fic copy the story line the creator of Naruto intended for his story.

About the Kyuubi's "fit." I felt that he Kyuubi has been under a lot of frustration for twelve years so I figured that he was about due for an eruption. So it's not just about him failing in the Jutsu, it's about every thing that frustrated him, and I've seen adults throw temper tantrums like small children. I know when I lose my temper (which is rarely thank god!) I've been told it's not pretty.

Any way here are some questions I would like to ask:

Does any one have any tips on how to write Kakashi? I think I need help, and some tips would be nice.

How did I do with the interpretation of each of the characters?

Does any one have any new jutsu ideas for Kyumaru? All I have for him is Sexy-no-Jutsu (not any more thanks to Naruto) The Fox fire one, and the Chakra fox one. Any Justus for the other characters?


	5. Branded for Life

Shcribble Donamarine: Chapter five is up! I hope this chapter is a good one.

Chapter 5

Branded for Life.

Acting as fast as my human reflexes were trained flicked the bird kunai from my holster and moved the kunai to block Tomoko's battle-axe.

I felt the force to the battle axe wedge itself in to the metal of the kunai, and even with a little bit of chakra enhancing it felt the battle-axe move at a rate faster then I could dodge.

I nearly yelled out before I was enveloped in a poof of smoke.

Next thing I was aware of was the fact that my earlier dignified position of standing left me to stumble and fall to the forest floor. Not wishing to be caught on the ground I crawled to my feet.

Right where I was standing; was a log, or more exactly freshly chopped kindling.

"A substitution?"

"Who are you and what do you want with my subordinate?" Bored eye asked.

He seems to have taken over the situation.

Tomoko looked at him as innocently as she could; the battle-axe almost ruined the innocence she was radiating.

"He left me standing at the alter." She explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Our parents arranged a marriage for us since our birth that we are to be wed, but on the day of our wedding, the bride-groom disappeared."

"The smartest thing I ever did!" I growled hatefully at her.

"So you're engaged?" Bored eye slowly said.

"Yep!"

"NO!"

We glared at each other.

"That's odd, for as long as I can remember you always hated me with a passion, or were all the times we tried to assassinate each other just child's play?" I muttered darkly.

"Well honey bunny, you silly boy,"—I think I'm going to gag, or I must be dreaming, she only called me that in my worst nightmares—"I did hate you, I still do, but there was a special brew we were supposed to drink, seeing as we never got along, our parents, and my grandmother felt that they and to take drastic measures. It's a powerful love potion, said to cause attraction to the point of insanity."  
Oh Hell no!

"Aphrodite's Venom." I muttered. "But if the feelings are left unrequited for over--"

I never got to finish my sentence.

"That's why I want to marry you honey bunny. I have too, or my father will come and kill you himself."

And I'm one-sixteenth my original strength… damn that Yondaime….

"Then why do you want to kill him?" Bored eye asked.

"Because, I want to kill him, then marry his corpse, and hang it on a wall in my den."

That's just disturbing.

"Never." I said I'd rather join a convent then that, "Over my dead body."

"Exactly, now transform back in to a kitsune so I can kill you."

……. How should I tell her that I can't transform back to my original form?

"Twelve years ago, when the Kyuubi-no-kitsune ran way from your wedding, he encountered this village and"

"It's not my fault you stupid humans panicked when I ran by, after all I had to take a short cut through the village or otherwise I would have been caught." I grumbled during the explanation.

"That's why our fourth Hokage bound the Kyuubi in human form and sealed his tails in another vessel."

"So you mean to say that Kyuubi-sweetheart is a human now. Well then, that's an even better reason to kill-"

"Oi Baka-Kitsune! I'm out, and you better be ready to pay for my ramen!"

Well, I'll be purified; the tail brat actually did it. Now I have to feed him, why did Iruka-sensei make me promise?

Tomoko paused and looked at where my freeloader was calling before she smirked and aimed her axe at me.

I jumped and Bored eye also seemed ready for action when...

Tomoko's stomach gurgled. She paused.

"That's right I havn't eaten since dinner." She said. "Well, I can't kill you over an empty stomach honey bunny."

"And why does this thing of logic affect your ability to kill me?" I asked, trying to figure out what she was thinking, after all she could still be an imposter.

" Of course I can't stupid; if you bleed when I'm hungry I could end up eating you and then I can't hang your corpse on my wall." Tomoko snapped and then I knew she was the real Tomoko.

She ran off when Naruto entered the space we were in.

Good riddance.

"So, should we do something about, her?" Bored eye asked. "She sounds like a threat."

"Tomoko is a very strong opponent, I know that much. But Tomoko won't find me when I leave the clearing, the scent of other humans will cover mine." I explained, remembering that her tracking skills were erratic, they worked and then they didn't, why else did it take her twelve years to find me? "Besides, do you really want the members of the village to fight her? Remember she is the same strength as me when I attacked twelve years ago."

I was about to leave the edge of a clearing, with the tail-brat and Bored eye following me when the sound of a swish of axe and cracking to a tree and I noticed a darkening shadow over head. I leapt and barely got out of the why when... That was close….

A tree landed just inches from my toes. And I heard a "drat" from the trees and I knew it was Tomoko's handy work.

"Who else hate my guts?" I muttered darkly, "Only fate loves screwing around with my life and Tomoko would do something like this." I glared at the neglected battle-axe by a tree stump that wasn't a stump this morning.

"So, are we still going to get some ramen?" Naruto asked.

* * *

The next day I sat in the Hokage tower, awaiting my first mission, my teammates glaring at me for the incident with the bird this morning. (see the omake theater last chapter) 

"What? I already told you guys the damn bird was suffering so I put it out of its misery. At least I made a decent grave for it. What more do you want."

Pinky humped, Broody didn't say anything but directed his eyes forward.

"Why did I have to be teamed up with a bird killer?" Tail-brat muttered.

Bird killer?

Bored eye sensei just turned a page in his book.

I only allowed Naruto one bowl yesterday and left the ramen stand before he could order more, much to his protest of having someone leave halfway through a meal, and I didn't respond, I didn't care if I was polite or not, and I killed two birds in front of them, not the best first impression was it?

I leaned back and began to notice other genin teams here, all I remember seeing from the academy, The Inuzuka boy with the mutt seemed to be in the same team as the silent bug boy, only unlike Broody on my team, bug boy seems to have a greater respect for nature, despite the fact that he's dressed like he's going to sell you some stolen goods. I have no idea what to make of the Abume boy. In between her two teammates was the kunochi of team eight, a Hyuuga, judging from her eyes, and from the main branch, seeing as her forehead is exposed to show that she was curse seal free. She seemed to be a shy timid creature that at one point had eye contact with Tail brat on my team and then blushed before she directed her eyes to the floor.

Hmm… Timid eyes seems too…… The mutt is looking at me again………

I froze for a second before he yawned and looked someplace else. Dogs give me the creeps, period.

Their sensei was a kunochi who had strange red eyes and a dress that seemed to be made of some sort of strip of cloth. I'd hate to see what would happen to that dress if it were to get damaged in battle, it would be such a waste of material, and it seems impractical to me, then again I don't care.

The other team here had one healthy sized boy from the Akimichi clan; I shall say nothing more than that. His teammates were a dark haired boy who just stared out the window, at least he's not sleeping like he did in the academy, and a platinum blonde girl; who was arguing with Pinky about their object of obsession, Broody, who ignored them. Blondey and Pinky were going at it like two holler monkey that made me which I had something hard and pointy, just to shut them up. Their sensei was standing next to team eight's sensei and he seemed to be smoking a cigarette's whose smell was causing a gagging reflex over my kitsune nose, it that didn't drive Tomoko away, I don't know what will.

"Team Seven." I heard the door call as we left our seats to get a briefing on our first mission.

* * *

The briefing room itself was a room with a table at the other end, a window showing the rest of the village could be seen from, sat behind two men sitting at the table. One of the men was Iruka-sensei; the other was a man I recognized as the Sandaime, the predecessor of the Yondaime.

I said nothing, despite my dislike of hokages for obvious reason.

"Alright the first mission on this scroll is to provide a farm with a set of farm hands for the day, seeing as you are a four man genin squad plus a sensei, we felt that you would be the best team for the job." The Hokage said reading the scroll.

"But old man, why do we have work on a farm! Why can't we go protect a princess or something?" the Tail-brat complained.

Good brat, questioning authority, go make Socrates proud!

"Naruto, this is your first day as a genin!" Iruka-sensei exclaimed before the third interrupted.

"Iruka, allow me; Naruto, we, the Village hidden in the leaves receive all sorts of requests for missions, ranging from household chores, babysitting, to guards, to assignations, and other things. And these missions have to be sorted in to ranks and charged justly, and then it is taken by ninja with skill that matches the toughness of the mission. D ranked missions for genin, C and B ranked mission for chunin, and some B and A ranked missions for Jonin." He Explained to the Tail-Brat. "Right now, you may be genin, but there are important skill you need to learn by just doing D ranked missions, such as work ethic and character, which will help you when it comes to higher ranked mission."

"Learning skills huh? Alright I'll give this mission a try."

No, Tail-brat, bad Tail-brat, no following authority, ah screw it. This bad better be worth getting my tails back soon…..

* * *

We entered the farm on time, and were greeted by the farmer himself. He seemed to be a kind man, and seemed to care about his farm, but he also seemed to have this air of a man who demanded respect for his job.

"Welcome to my farm, I'm going to spend most of the day weeding and adding fertilizer in the fields, so I need some one to help me take care of the animal, my other farm hands called in sick, so that's were you guys come in. I need you to take care of the animals while I tend my fields. Can you do that?"

"Of course!" the Tail-brat cheered.

"Right away sir!" Pinky bowed.

Broody didn't say anything.

"So what jobs are we supposed to do exactly?" Bored eye asked.

"Well, the Chickens need feed, so do the rabbits, pigs, goats, sheep, and the horses, they all also need to be groomed, especially the angora rabbits, we need those for the wool, and they all need cleaned up after, and then you can help my wife by tending her herb garden, she is volunteering at the local school right now."

" But I think it's a best idea to keep the bird killer away from the chickens." The Tail-brat replied "helpfully".

"Bird killer?" the man asked looking at me, as the brat jerked his thumb at me.

I groaned. " It was to end a poor bird's sufferings after if crashed in to a window. The bird should be grateful I ended its life to end its sufferings."

"And what about the first time?" Pinky this time glared at me.

"First time?" the farmer asked.

"That was a survival exam, there wasn't enough food to pass around so I provided for myself allowing you to have the bento." I explained.

"That's still no excuse!" Pinky exclaimed.

"Well obviously you have never been stranded in the middle of a forest in the dead of winter where every living thing is fair game have you?" I reprimanded.

"We're still keeping you away from the chickens. Better yet let's keep you away from all small creatures." She replied. You kill two birds once in a forty eight hour period and you're branded for life.

Smart girl, I guess, she certainly knows when to keep fighting, now if only she could control that temper more, then she would be a formidable kunoichi.

"Then what should I do?

"Don't worry about your livestock, I'll keep an eye on them." Bored eye told the farmer.

"Alright," It seems the tail brat had decided to dish out the jobs, "Sakura-chan you take care of the rabbits and the horses. Sasuke—"

"I'll take care of the goats and the sheep." Broody replied.

"What? But I wanted to take care of the goats and the sheep!" Tail-brat cried.

"But that just leaves the chickens and the pigs." Pinky observed.

"Exactly, with Sasuke's hair the chickens will feel right at home."

"Naruto, that's the dumbest reason I have ever heard! Any way Sasuke-kun's hai—well okay, his hair does look at little bit like a chicken… but that's no reason to make him take the job!"

This is going now where fast. Scratch what I said about Pinky.

"Fine, I'll take the chickens and the pigs. I like chicken and pork." I said, knowing that this might make some progress.

All three of my teammates glared at me for a moment before the tail brat surrendered. "I'll do the dumb chickens and the pigs then."

Score one for me.

"I'll take the Sheep and the Goats to the pasture then." Broody remarked, heading off to the said animals.

"See, and I'll keep an eye on all of them, you don't have a thing to fear for your animals." Bored eye said to the farmer.

"Alright then, oh, and before I forget, make sure you clean up all of the animal droppings and milk the goats." And with that the Farmer left.

Naruto ran off to take care of the chickens and the pigs, Sakura; the rabbits and the horses and me…………

I got dung duty.

* * *

Of all the **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)(censored) (censored)** If **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** you **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** can** (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** read** (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** this **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) **then (**censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) **do** (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** not **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** adjust **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** your **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** computer **(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)** monitor** (censored) **jobs I had to get the one with me shoveling the **(censored) **from every creature on this whole damn farm.

I knelt next to the kitty litter box that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months, slightly thankful that the perfume from the kitty litter was making my nose stop working so I didn't have to smell the kitty filth. Where is that damn cat anyway?

My fingers were wet and I tried to do everything I could to prevent my fingers from touching light brown litter covered clusters. I bet Nekotama is laughing that cat's two damn tails off now.

This has to be the work of some twisted mind that controls every thing I do, it has to be. Like some author with a strange sense of humor, and wants me to act out of character, me the kyuubi-no-kitsune, by removing my dignity and pulling me thought this pointless ordeal. I hope the loser gets blisters from typing this…..

* * *

An: Sorry this chapter is Omake Theater-less, I couldn't come up with an idea that could be stretched to make a good omake theater, ideas varied from misdemeanors with superglue, myths concerning lemmings (of all things), or a moment staring the author. But they didn't' seem to work as an omake theater. Any ideas?

Oh and my sister and I will be on a trip to California in late March to early April. So the Update might be written before or after the trip.

See you all soon!


	6. Murder Mystery in the Tropical Isles!

Chapter 6

Who done it? The Tropical Murder mystery!

I had finished scrubbing the last of the rabbit waste trays as I looked up to find Pinky had been bonding with her charges.

Apparently it was raining off in the distance, for the sunlight from the mid-afternoon sun had filtered through to have the water droplets form a prism effect from their fall miles away, adding to pinky's atmosphere with her being surrounded by the horses as if she were queen of the ponies, the greedy creatures lipped her hands, face, and clothes, begging for a sugary treat she might produce.

The rabbits climbed on her as if she were their friend while she brushed each animal, a seemingly innocent look, if I hadn't heard those types of rabbit grunts before when I was a fox, I would have believed it too. They were fighting for dominance for who got to be groomed by Pinky the most, and some males were eyeing the females. I think the farmer's going to have a baby bunny boom soon.

Hmm…. However rabbit stew would be nice.

I began to feel its happy effects and began to feel as if I have swallowed something that wanted to battle against my stomach. Well, at least there aren't any sparkles or those roses that show up at a shojo moment in a manga.

The overprotective chickens decided to adopt our featherbrained friend as they took turns sitting on his head and surrounding the Tail-brat. They seemed to have accepted him because they drove anything else away from him, including Naruto himself when he tried to leave. Those dumb birds.

The Tail-brat grew frustrated at the constant clinging of the chickens to the point he attempted a jutsu.

He held his hands in a hand sign and in poof yelled out "Kage-bushin no Jutsu!" in a flash one thousand Tail brats tired to distract the chickens so he could get away. The chickens freaked out, as was I, with the concept of more then one Tail-brat, how ever unlike me, they expressed their feeling though violence.

As multiple bushin tried to run, the chickens would mob the imposters and peck them to death, and once every imposter was dead they mobbed, bullied, and chased the orange wearing jail bird in to a hen house, and I haven't seen him since.

The Pigs that the Tail-brat had feed before the chickens seemed to surprisingly ignore the food and huddle around in a circle with one in the center mapping out something with his snout.

I climbed a tree to clean out a bird house, ignoring the birds who tried to peck the hell out of me when I noticed that one of the maps looked suspiciously like Konoha, another looked like the farm.

Great, just great, the hogs are bent on world domination.

Broody seemed to have a ball in the field, the sheep and the goats wandered around their pasture, and Broody shepherd them from wandering too far away. The distant clouds that provided Pinky with her rainbow, were filled heavy and dark with rain, and seemed to give him a dark and angsty environment to do what he did best, brood. But I don't think Broody was too happy when one of the ewes went in to labor, I don't think he even knew it was pregnant.

After the birth of a lamb, the little one kept following him around, being a former kitsune I figured out that the lamb was calling him momma. I nearly choked back laughter as he tried to drive the lamb back to the ewe so he could brood some more on his view point as one of the goats tried to eat his shirt. I also recall a certain farmer saying milk the goats later on too.

Bored-eye seems to have disappeared somewhere. Figures.

The Farmer returned home around the time the sun had set, every animal was taken care of and content, except for the Tail-brat who was still held hostage by a certain type of common egg laying domesticated cluckers who lived in the same hen house. They know who they are.

I myself was tired, sore, smelling, cool, and wet from a hosepipe I used to clean myself of animal filth. I had leaned up against a wall of a building watching the scenes they unfolded.

Broody's lamb was following him behind the fence, crying for his attention and care before it attempted to jump the gate multiple times. Broody just looked at the animal and tried to direct it to ewe that originally mothered it. The ewe would tenderly lick the lamb but it would just run back to the boy. Broody, desperate turned the lamb back to the ewe and hengded himself in to a bush and the lamb, loosing sight of it's 'mother' panicked for a few moments until it's original mother came and the lamb decided that the ewe was it's mother and not Broody.

Well, there goes my "I like to eat lamb" joke.

Pinky's rabbits and horses followed her wherever she went and like the Tail-brat the animals seemed to have a strong desire of never having Pinky leave. I'm keeping my distance so I can watch Bored eye retrieve her so I don't get bitten.

"Interesting sight?" A voice from my left said.

I nodded and turned to see Bored eye-sensei standing right next to me leaning against the same building as I was, his familiar orange book in hand. The farmer was standing next to me admiring my handy work of the clean stables. I shall ignore the brown-white glove test of his.

"Thank you very much for looking after my animals." The Farmer said looking at me and broody, seeing as we were the only ones who came back to the farm house creature-less.

"By the way has anyone seen Naruto and Sakura?" Bored eye asked.

"The tail-brat and Pinky are being held hostage by their animals; however I am not suicidal enough to repeat the Tail-brat's attempt to escape." Thousands of Kage-bushin has lost their lives to fail to free the jail-brat.

"… Have you tried to help him?"

"No, it's not my place to be the brat's wet nurse; he has to get out of these messes himself, like my parents did to me." I remarked.

Bored eye sighed as the farmer and Broody looked at me as if I were some sort of heartless jerk. Hey, it's tough love that will make them strong enought to get themselves out of these situations. Now let's move on with our lives.

"Pinky is living every little girl's dream however." I decided to change the subject.

"That's good, but still, are you going to help Naruto?" Bored eye pressed firmly, his one eye saying that if no one was going to help the Tail-brat, the would.

I wanted to retort a 'why should I?' but I new that would never work for convincing the man. I was about to scoff and say more things about me not helping the tail brat when a familiar pain started to fill my whole being. Damn Iruka-sensei for that damn promise! Bored-eye seemed to be the only one to notice my grimace.

"It's his fault if he let the chickens walk all over him and let them control him and lock him in that hen house," I remarked calmly striding to the hen house, maybe some properly said harsh words will do the trick. Bored eye, Broody, and the farmer followed. "Well it he can be pushed around by some dumb birds," I said speaking louder word by word. "Then a loser like that can NEVER become Hokage!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" I heard the Tail-brat holler.

I heard a crash and a clatter, followed by a lot of hard to understand yells or curses, and the cry of the chickens before I saw a blonde head poke out of the hen entrance and he made a mad dash across from the hen yard and leapt out the door in the chicken wire as Bored eye-sensei shut the door firmly behind him and locked the door before a tsunami of chickens crashed in to the wire of their enclosure.

I knew he could do it.

After about ten minutes of yelling and arguing between the two of us, I was the calmer of the two of us, Bored eye-sensei had seemed to use the time of our argument to convince Pinky it was time to leave. We collected our fee and left with out farther to do, the farmer seemed to keep looking at me oddly, and he docked off a few ryou on something. But I decided I didn't care.

I walked home as soon as we were dismissed, the sun had set, the trees were whistling in the wind, foxes scurried on their nightly prowls and I was too tired to care. If some creepy couple were singing slow songs about the death of two lovers, still born babies, or some tragic betrayal I probably wouldn't have noticed.

But the one thing I did notice was my apartment door was waiting for me, and I locked to door behind me as I entered, bathed in my shower, dressed for bed, and collapsed in bed, too tired to extract my daily revenge on my old dart board.

* * *

One day a few days of these pointless D-class missions later, I was awoken at dawn by a knocking on the front door. That in itself was an odd occurrence; nobody had ever paid me a visit in all my time in living in Konoha, and so I was pretty surprised in that concept myself. Armed with my shinobi holster, and pulled on my jacket and opened the door ready to deal with who ever awoken me so early in the morning.

I was greeted by a sight that both frightened and disturbed me.

"SWEET HEART!" Tomoko cried, still dressed as she was during my genin test, only this time she carried a seemingly innocent gift of lovers, a huge boquet of red roses and a large box fill with chocolates. However, those who knew Tomoko would tell you she hates any normal signs of romance and would know that those roses and chocolate were most likely laced with poison.

So I slammed the door as hard as I could, and as fast as I could, locked the bolts and locks.

"But sweetie!" Tomoko cried as she tired to open the door and banged on it, "Please open the door, I want to kill you so bad!"

"NO!" I yelled. Great, now she knows where I live.

Stepping back and taking account of the things I owned, that would be use full if she completely broke in and prepared my self for a fight when she stabbed her hand through the door and broke it down.

An empty apartment greeted her. "Oh where you honey bunny, come out come out where ever you are." Then something bright and shiny caught her eye.

"Ooh!" Another reason that I have lived for so long; Tomoko has an amazingly short attention span.

* * *

I met my team at our usual meeting place and we waited Bored-eye sensei. No sign of Tomoko yet.

"Hello I'm sorry I'm late there was a stalker and…"

"Lair!" Pinky and the Tail brat exclaimed.

Bored Eye sighed, "Well, let's go to the Hokage monument and get a briefing on our next mission." With that Broody, Pinky and Tail brat lead the way before Bored eye pulled me back. "I heard about Tomoko." He whispered.

"Yeah, and now she knows were I live." I liked my apartment, but if need be I will move.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing I guess, just fight when she attacks." It's a terrible game plan but it's the best I have.

"That's it?"

"Well it's not like I can do anything else now." I muttered. "I can't run."

"What are you two talking about?" Pinky turned around to ask, Broody and the Tail brat seemed to show they were listening in.

"Kyumaru here has a stalker." Bored eye announced calmly.

"A Stalker?!" Pinky exclaimed.

"Is she that weird lady with the huge battle axe?" The Tail brat stated.

"Battle axe?" Pinky asked and she and Broody stared at the brat for more answers.

"Yeah, she had a huge battle axe and she tried to have a tree land on Kyumaru, I think she wants to kill him. But I don't know what he did." The Tail brat explained as if he was the teacher and they were the pupils.

"I didn't do anything." I remarked firmly. "And it's really none of your bee wax any way."

"But stalkers are so serious!" exclaimed the girl who would willingly stalk Broody.

"We are ending the subject now!" I said. "End of discussion."

And with that I marched down the trail ahead of them.

They followed, but I could tell that the brats of my team were worried about the stalker.

* * *

The mission briefing was one of the most interesting I had so far. It started out normal and boring just like the ones the day before.

Tora the cat had run away again from the Fire Daimyo's wife and the last five times were fiascos.

The Tail-brat, Pinky, Broody, and even me were scratched by it's desperate claws, and finally when I got sick of the whole 'don't give up on the fight' attitude from the cat, I casted a genjutsu on it, making it think it had encountered me in my fox form back in the good old days. Pinky nearly started demanding my hide when she saw how traumatized it was. How was I supposed to know it would faint and start foaming at the mouth?

"No we are not chasing after that stupid cat again. I'm ready for the bigger missions!" Naruto exclaimed.

"But Naruto! You're still a genin and you still need more experience before you can handle the hard missions!" Iruka-sensei exclaimed.

" No, I now know half gardens in town by name, got abducted by those dumb chickens, painted three quarters of the fences and then had to redo them and… I'm not the little kid I was before." Naruto explained.

The third looked pensive from his seat right next to Iruka-sensei.

But none of us prepared for the randomness of what was to happen next.

A large hook that looked like it was once the stand for a hat stand crashed through the window behind us and with in seconds we were ready for action. No one came through the window.

We waited for a second before I started to hear some grunting and panting in the distance.

Curious Iruka and Bored eye sensei looked over the window edge before Iruka-sensei called out a "What are you doing?"

I heard some grunts of effort but no response to Iruka-sensei's question. A pause and a bunch of loud pants told me that this person was obviously not used to a lot of physical exercise. Then there was a loud grunt that told me that this person was female and then I heard a gnawing sound as if the person grabbed the rope with her teeth before she moved her hands forward.

"Eep!" the person cried when her feet slid off of the side of the building and I saw the rope move from side to side slightly, to suggest that this person was now swinging.

This time I stuck my head out the window with caution and what caught my, the Hokage who followed me, and both my sensei's attentions was a woman was just younger then Iruka-sensei, although all I could see was a earth colored head with bead, leaves, feathers, and some unfamiliar flowers I remembered seeing in the tropics. Beneath the brown head I could see something the color of creamed coffee and something that was as white as bleached cotton. The person in question was about three feet off the ground, I could tell, even from this distance. Swinging side to side, curled up in a ball with only darkly tanned hands clinging to the rope as if it were her lifeline.

"Excuse me, but what are you doing Oki?" The Hokage asked.

"Oki" looked up and I caught a glance in to dark blue eyes. Oh great, just great, another original character who pops up out of nowhere. I pulled my head back in and watched as the younger members of my team tried to fill the space I left so they could see what was happening.

"Hokage-san! I am not—grunt—going to—eh—leave—huff—the side of this—hi-ya! —Building until—rah—you send a team to full fill my mission!" Oki exclaimed as she started climbing again. Her eyes glaring at the air above her as she tried to focus on get another foot up the side of the building. Eventually she reached our window revealing that the white thing I saw was a piece of white cloth wrapped around her waist and tied on the left side of her hip. The cloth then had a revealing slit on the left side revealing darkly tanned legs and bare feet. The coffee colored patch I had seen turned out to be a knitted poncho that was draped on her shoulders and dropped to around her elbows and the end pointed to past her navel. Underneath was equally tanned skin revealing that she wasn't wearing shirt underneath.

Her hair was also a strange thing I couldn't help but notice.

The right half of it was shortly chopped right at the middle of her neck, the rest, in tangled messes rolled down to the back to where her waistcloth started.

She was pulled in with the help of Iruka sensei and she stood firmly just beyond the broken glass and began to pace in front of the desk.

"Oki, why didn't you use the door and write a mission request just like everyone else?" The Hokage asked tiredly. Was this a common occurrence?

"That's clichéd." Oki remarked "plus I'm always a firm believer of civil disobedience. What about all the people who don't know how to write? So what about my team of ninjas? I mean I already told what the mission is, I believe it's a c-class…"

"C-class?" it had obviously caught the tail brat's attention seeing as he was the one who asked.

"Why yes it is, it should be a very simple mission, but I wouldn't know, I'm not a ninja." Oki replied smoothly waving her hand like she would a fan in a figure eight. "The people of Naisenylop need your help!"

Nai-sen-y-lop… wait isn't that-?

"Naisenylop!" Pinky exclaimed excitedly her eyes started to grow starry as they glazed in an imaginative daze. "I've all ways wanted to go to that island, the tropical paradise!"

Ah, yes, a tropical island found in the ocean south of fire country, it's commonly off the maps, because it's so small and so far south but there are few maps that are large enough to show the tiny little thing. A popular vacation spot among the humans these days, but I remember when I was there, all that fire and rock was heaven for two fighting kitsune, Tomoko and myself. I think that was how the island was formed now that I think about it.

"We'll take it!"

"I second that!"

"Now Naruto, Sakura it's not a wise--" Iruka-sensei began.

"You will! Great! I'll meet you guys at the gates in three hours!" Oki sang and skipped out the door of the Hokage building singing about a certain celestial being in heaven and how it's a bad omen.

Bad omen indeed.

An: That's the end of chapter six and the starting of a new arc! Whoot! About time! Don't worry about Oki becoming something like a Mary-sue or something, she doesn't have that big of an impact in the plot. She will only last two or three chapters.

* * *

And as promised here is your Fourth Omake Theater!

Omake Theater 4

Kyumaru vs. the Weather!

(this takes place a day or two before Oki tries to climb the Hokage tower.)

I was walking down the street, after a D-class mission with that damn cat, covered with stinging scratches, bites, and bruises caused by Pinky the moment I casted a genjutsu on the cat to make it easier to catch.

That damn little girl doesn't seem to accept that in nature there is no such thing as a too sentimental attachment. She's lucky that's all I did to the cat!

The Sun was out in its mid-to-late afternoon trip while the sky was filled with rich heavy clouds that gave fire country the rain to keep the village hidden among the leaf green.

I passed that ramen place the Tail-brat dragged me to on the day of our test, a reward for remembering that rope jutsu. He was currently enjoying a couple bowls of ramen alone, ranting on and on about the cat, while the restaurant owner listened attentively, he seemed to be pleased serving the customer who was making him rich I suppose.

I had entered a forest and the deeper I walked the more and more excluded I got from the rest of the town, this is one reason I like my apartment so much, which was my destination.

The rain from the sky starts to fall, the dark clouds dumping the condensed liquid from the sky, but never seemed to be large enough to obscure the sun, so it was shining brightly, adding a cheery tone to the rain.

I wonder if some fox couple is having a wedding. It's an interesting fact that kitsune are know to have weddings when it's raining and the sun is exposed. But in some area's it's also known that some devil also beats his wife during the time, but she has her revenge when the moon is out and it's raining.

I sensed her presence a second before her arms wrapped around my arms and chest.

"Hi sweetie." Tomoko whispered in a sickly sweet voice. "Do you know what the weather means?"

Ah hell.

"Let go Tomoko."

"No way, hug!" She cried as she hugged tighter, her voice taking a childish tone. The rain drops bounced off of our heads.

"I said let go!"

"Nope!" she nuzzled my messed up braid. "Now let's get married!!!" she exclaimed as she started dragging me back.

"I refuse!" I shouted as I pulled myself from her grip by lifting my arms firmly.

She glared at me. "Well then, if you don't want to do this the easy way… I'll gladly do it the hard way!!!" She exclaimed lifting her familiar battle axe, the rain drops landing on it glistened in the sun, ruining her scariness effect, but still making the scene not a pleasant one to be in.

She was about to swing and for me to dodge when a miracle happened.

It had stopped raining.

Silence.

"Oh pooh and now we can't get--."

She stopped to glare and the vanishing act I pulled.

"COWARD!" she yelled.

I ran all the way back to that ramen place before she could finish that sentence. The tail brat and the restaurant owner looked at me oddly before I sat on the other side of the restaurant and grudgingly decided to try their udon here.

* * *

Bonus!

Omake Theater 5

(This takes place shortly after the Kyuubi turned in to a human, and Naruto is still a baby.)

Hoshi-no-tama vs Truth

The Hoshi-no-tama is a prized jewel among Kitsune, It is said to either be the soul of the kitsune, or the solidified portion of their power. Either way it's really valuable to a kitsune. It is formed when a kitsune reaches a certain power level and then a Hoshi-no-tama or star jewel is formed, then the kitsune carries their hoshi-no-tama everywhere with them, for if the jewel is taken too far away from the kitsune, the fox will die. I'm not certain of the distance but I'm not willing to gamble right now. All I know is I can be with in five mile s of Konoha city limits and any farther will cause a feeling as if something is pulling a rope around my throat, like a cruel dog owner pulling a dog's leash.

The reason I know this is because I had one.

Mine was formed with I had earned my fifth tail, a record among the kitsune, sadly enough; Tomoko shares the record with me. Tomoko keeps hers hidden on her person, mine was pierced on the fifth tail, which was the middle tail when I earned my ninth. It was my pride, and since it was attached to my tail, I could never loose it or have some mortal steal it so I would be at its mercy.

I groan at my former logic now. That damn Fourth sealed my tails and with them, my Hoshi-no-tama, in to that screaming brat baby I glared at from across the hospital room. My charka coils have been messed up and have now been synchronized with his, meaning I can't do any jutsu at any level higher than his!

He squirmed under my glare before he started crying.

No nurse came to his cries so I rolled my eyes and tossed a stuffed toy I grabbed at him. It landed next to him, catching his attention as he started cuddling the soft thing.

I the Kyuubi, now reduced to nothing more than a pitiful human, stuck with the brat that has my two most prized possessions, my tails and my hoshi-no-tama. Me, at the mercy of a baby. That brat's care taker better be here soon, or other wise I might be stuck with the little tail-vessel.

* * *

An: this is the last Author's note for the chapter! Yay! Chapter six is done! Now I'm going to be gone on a trip to Southern California U.S.A and will be gone for about nine days, which means nine days with out a computer. I leave March 23 and comeback April first. And after I come back I'll have to work on another chapter of my Inuyasha fic before I can update this fic. So you guys might get an update as a birthday present for me in late April. 


	7. MMitTI prt 2 Revised edition!

An: Well sorry it took so long to write chapter seven, I had a lot happen to me. I participated in the Day of Silence at school, turned another year older, and prepared for my future. And then once I posted this I felt it was incomplete so I reposted it and added much more to the chapter, making the former Omake theater as part of the chapter and added what would have been the start of chapter eight. So here it new and improved:

Chapter Seven

The Tropical Murder mystery part two.

(Revised edition)

Three hours passed with nothing but packing and waiting by the gate for our client, so far the only ones who arrived were Broody and I. I had brought my typical shinobi gear in my pack, and a small backpack that contained only a canteen, a small bento, and a first aid kit, and a survival kit.

Broody had been trained from childhood to pack the same way as I had, and we waited by the gate our client said she would meet us.

Five minutes of waiting in silence, each of us brooding in our stew of thoughts, not saying a word when something orange appeared in the distance, it was small at first, but I could tell who it was, the Tail-brat.

He seemed to move in an excited pace that made me think about how not once in his pathetic life had he left these walls of Konoha, but then again, I hadn't left the village either.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Naruto muttered to himself the moment he reached earshot of both Broody and I. "This is the first time I've left the village, I'm so excited."

"It's not that great a thing, Tail-brat," I sighed, holding on to patience, his excitement was already wearing me out. It was actually very pathetic.

"And how would you know?" The tail-brat exclaimed.

"I've been all over the world several times; I've even been to Naisenylop once. But that was years and years ago, before your ancestors were born."

"Really?" the Tail-brat exclaimed, playing the role as the gullible child.

Broody rolled his eyes. "He's pulling you're leg dobe."

"Well, well, well, you three gentlemen know how to impress a lady, you're here on time." Oki seemed ready for travel, small backpack straps pulled at her shoulders and her poncho, revealing more information about her bosom and thin curvy figure then I would have ever wanted to know, and didn't think the Tail-brat and Broody were old enough to see. In her hands were plastic bags.

"I thought I would treat myself for a job well done." She explained lifting a bag.

"What's in the bags?" The Tail-brat asked.

"Stuff that isn't for children," She explained waving her finger as if he had said he wanted some. I rolled my eyes. "By the way I couldn't help but over hear, and it makes me wonder, are you two brothers?" she asked.

Brothers? Me and the Tail-brat, brothers?

"Brothers?! You think that jerk and I are brothers?" He exclaimed.

"Well you two do have a resemblance." Oki remarked kindly. Broody looked amused at the idea but said nothing.

I looked at the Tail brat, small, scrawny, blond hair, and blue eyes, nothing like my own looks at all. That woman must be on some sort of crazy medication if she were to make a suggestion like that.

Just then Pinky dashed in to the scene carrying about two suitcases and a heavily packed backpack. "Sorry I'm late!" She exclaimed to Oki's reassurances that she was on time.

"You're not late, you are on time."

"Sakura-chan, are you ready!" the Tail-brat asked like an excited puppy.

"What's with this junk?" I asked eyeing her bags.

"I'm going to Naisenylop; don't you think that I'm going to need this stuff?" Sakura asked like a stereotypical prep, and she's only twelve years old.

"What did you bring?" Oki asked kindly.

"Oh, a change of clothes for a few days, ready for the hot tropical weather, sunscreen, provisions for the trip there, first aid kit, a hat, spending money, towels, camera, spare sandals, swimsuit… and…" The girl giggled.

"Pinky, we're on a mission, not a vacation." I grunted trying to get the girl to think about the mission.

"Oh, no, no, Sakura-chan here has the right idea." Oki explained patting the girl on the head as she smiled and giggled under the attention.

Women.

Just then Bored-eye appeared in a whirlwind of leaves. "Sorry I'm late; there was a traffic jam with a bunch of ants so…"

"You're late!" Pinky and the Tail-brat exclaimed. For the first time in a long while I massaged my temples to prevent a headache from coming on.

"Well, let's go then!" Oki exclaimed a she started marching on the road like a main character of a cartoon beginning a journey of great proportions.

* * *

The "journey" didn't last for very long when Bored eye sensei called us to stop under a tree so we could discuss the mission when she blew him off and kept walking singing about a hero's sufferings and how his greed eventually destroyed him.

All four of us looked at the strange lady before she turned to us in a spin on her bare feet and looked us in the eye.

"I'll explain more later, but right now I'd rather not think of the tragedies approaching those poor creatures."

Creatures? What kind of mission did I get dragged in to? All this isn't making sense either; I'm on a mission I don't even know about, with a nut case who only seems to behave on impulse. How the hell do I even know if this mission was valid? Was this the reason the Hokage kept trying to turn her away? I glared at the backs of Pinky and the Tail-brat, the ones responsible as to why I'm here.

The weather itself was also sickeningly pleasant, birds were singing, reminding me of the dinner I would be need to eat soon, butterflies floating over flowers, ones that shouldn't even be blooming this late in the season. I felt the happy heat of the sunlight, all of it seemed to make the song of Oki or the pleasant mood of the Tail-brat and Pinky even more aggravating or it was them making the conditions more irritating. Now that I think about it, I think that it would most likely be them.

"No, no, I'd rather hear the mission here and now." A voice broke through my thoughts about the weather. "It's nothing personal, but I'd rather not drag my subordinates in to something dangerous." Bored-eye said in his usual tone, as if he were fishing for a rip off deal in a contract.

Oki paused, I could feel a multitude of emotions going through her, guilt, fear, slight panic and then admission, followed by slight joy at something. I tried not to eye her with suspicion after all who do we not know if she is some sort of creature trying to lure us into something, like a silken invisible web of deceit and lies woven by a hungry spider who would desire nothing more then to sink her fangs into our bodies and wrap webbing around us with her mismatched hair cut, or her sarong cloth around her waist, or cream coffee brown poncho.

She looked down and turned around bright blue eyes eyeing the soil, my eyes searched the ground looking for a trap door that might be sprung to find another Oki-creature ready to capture us.

"Alright, I suppose I won't be able to avoid the subject any longer." Pinky looked up at Oki; her grass colored eyes looked worried at the sad guilty tone that filled Oki's voice. The tone certainly gave us the impression that if we interrupted her we would be sorry.

"As I've said, I come from Naisenylop and all around our island, dolphin carcasses have been washing up on the beach, no sign of what killed them, but these creature's corpses have all been mutilated. Their teeth have been removed, along with their skin and blubber layer, and the odd thing about them, autopsies have stated that they've—they've encountered some sort of energy that morphs them in to something, not dolphin, yet still retain dolphin form and are instantly killed by something.'

"Dolphins are sacred animals to the islanders so the villagers called forth a meeting and decided to call a squad of ninja to stop this killing an arrest who ever is responsible, for we are just an island and have no hidden village to call upon and we also suspect ninja are behind this too. They sent me to hire you guys for this mission."

"Then why didn't the Hokage allow you to go thought with the application?" Bored eye asked.

"And how do we know that this isn't a lie or a trick?" I asked. "How do we know that you are not some sort of kappa, harionago, or a funayūrei 1?" I tried to exam her closely; trying to make sure her hair wouldn't attack us or something, whether she could be a hair woman, malevolent water spirit, or a ghost of a drowning victim who didn't pass on, before I bowed deeply.

She looked at me confused. "Excuse me?"

She didn't bow back, so she's not a kappa….

"You idiot!" Pinky exclaimed, "Why are you accusing her of being something she's not!"

"Oh you want me to prove I'm human? Well then…" Oki's hands darted out to under my nose and brought them up to the point to prove that her hands weren't webbed, I leapt back before her thumb and forefinger grabbed my nose. She sighed before she gave her hair a hard jerk, not hard enough to hurt her scalp to prove that it wouldn't move on it's own before she reached out and ruffled Pinky on the head like an elder sister. "See?"

"Fine." I muttered, excuse my paranoia, but I've encountered creatures like that before as a kitsune, and find my vulnerability a non-comforting state to be in, especially with Tomoko on the loose.

Oki seemed to pull her lips back before she chuckled like a mad woman. "I see I've got a superstitious one here. Don't worry; you're not the first person to throw me in to a fireplace. 2" Then the strange woman turned sharply around. "Now I hope that explains all of your questions, I hope you can still trust me." With that said, she began walking.

I didn't see what was so funny, before I shrugged if off and began to keep walking forward with the rest of my team listening to Oki began singing about happy creatures dancing on a patch of grass with the tail brat joining in, not realizing that he was secretly singing a song about the terrible thing humans do themselves when they insert strange chemicals in their bodies just for the woozy feeling they get.

This was going to be a long, long mission.

* * *

Our Journey continued from Konoha to the coast of the Fire Country with out much distraction, unless you counted in all the things our client did, then it was just full of distractions, but they were all to trivial to mention.

Finally we had arrived to a port that would take us to the island of Naisenylop, Oki, under obligation from her village paid for our tickets. The port had shacks, fishing factories, and traveling agencies all over the place like moss growing on a bolder. I felt weary of the eyes that came from everywhere, wishing for the money that I might foolishly spend.

The Tail-brat looked around, somewhat relieved to be free of the cold eyes he normally got in the village, and seemed to calm down after a few minutes of celebration.

Broody just ignored the salesmen and Pinky excitedly took pictures of the scenery of grey sky, brown and grey buildings, and the drowsy pale fog that slithered from the sea.

Bored eye read from his bright orange book, others seemed to ignore him and kept walking as if he were the normal one in our group.

Oki returned from the ticket line with the tickets in hand before she smiled and said "We'll need to get in line soon, or the boat might run out of comfortable places to wait in." Then she turned around smoothly sliding on her feet into a position in line, obviously advocating that we too should climb aboard.

I sighed, hitching up my backpack and followed my sensei, in line followed by my teammates.

Three seconds later, a crowd separated us. Or rather, the tail brat got separated and Bored-Eye went after him about a few seconds before Pinky dragged Broody to a stall that held some sort of useless junk that would interest twelve-year-old girls. I had unspoken orders to stay and wait in line. I didn't care, this just mean that I would have a comfortable chair to sit on this ferry.

"Hello."

I turned sharply on the balls of my feet to become eye to eye with a strange young woman. Or rather eye to chest with this shorter young woman.

The young woman looked more like a girl about a few years older then the tail-brat. Dark brown hair contrasted with bright red streaks that seemed to unnaturally pale at the top of her head. Her build was similar with the Akimichi kid of team ten and her dark eyes were be-speckled and she seemed to carry a laidback, yet eerie grin.

Oki was somewhere off in the distance humming a song about insomniacs and their hard work.

"I'm a nerdlet." the weird heavy girl replied. She seemed to be talking to me.

"That's nice." I replied curtly.

"I'm confused, so do you mind answering a question for me."

"And why should I?" I answered.

"Actually I have several, and we are waiting line and will be in line for the next hour so how about you and I kill time by talking. Are you a boy or a girl?"

I choked on saliva. "I'm male." I recovered quickly and firmly

"Oh really?" Nerdlet seemed surprised. "So you're a bishie huh? Alright then, what is better, ninjas or pirates?"

Obviously she didn't see my headband or otherwise she would know that she is TALKING to a ninja.

"Well I think Pirates are better," Nerdlet elaborated ignoring my lack of a response. "They get treasure, rum, and the ladies, and what do ninjas do? They run around in black with cheap theater tricks."

Suddenly I was glad the tail brat wasn't here to hear this. He'd probably blow a fuse and erupt with his "I'm gonna become Hokage" lectures to her for dissing his career, while I myself contained myself and didn't say anything. After all, what I do as a way to earn my tails back was really none of her business.

"What is better, vampires or werewolves?" Nerdlet asked and before she could say her answer I was ready.

"Neither."

"Well I think vamp... what?" Nerdlet looked at me oddly.

"I believe kitsune are far more superior to werewolves or vampires." I explained.

"Yeah right, vampires are way better, they get chicks, bats, blood, and look awesome in black and red, and live in castles. While kitsune get musky dens in the middle of nowhere with a phobia of dogs, and werewolves are no better, they have no control over their powers and have to change under the light of the full moon." Nerdlet explained.

"But Sasuke-kun!"

Broody gumbled to himself as he dragged Pinky by the arm out of the crowd, "Sakura, we need to stay inline."

At the same time Both Bored-eye and the Tail-brat appeared out of the crowd but before anything else happened we were all interrupted by another one of Nerdlet's concepts.

"Are you all related? I mean you all look like cousins." Nerdlet said.

* * *

I had finished settling at my seat at the passengers section of the ferry before I sensed Bored eye approached me from behind and tap my shoulder.

"We need to meet in the lounge room before we dock; Oki says she has something to say." He said.

"Fine." I remarked.

I followed Bored eye's directions to the lounge room while he left to find the tail brat and Broody, only for I myself to find the weirdo with Pinky in the lounge room already, the two seemed to bond like real sisters, sitting at a table, and seemed to be going on and on about what ever effeminate ideas that pass through their heads. The room was completely deserted, due to the fact that almost everyone else was packing for loading the ship with the cargo for this trip.

"And that's why you have to use cotton balls, trust me they work."

Cotton balls for what?

"Oh I get it. But what about S-"

Oki unaware of my presence apparently placed her finger over Pinky's mouth and smiled like an older woman advising a small child over some matter or other.

"How old is he?" She asked.

"Twelve years old." Pinky said.

"Ah, I see, that's what you are doing wrong when it comes to attracting him." Oki whispered and whispered some more in her ear. I rolled my eyes and was about to turn to leave when Pinky squealed at something.

"What do you mean boys like Sasuke-kun need a sister figure?!" Pinky exclaimed.

"Yes they do, you said he was an orphan right?" Pinky nodded. "Well from my experience, boys who lack a female figure, are more likely to stay with a sister figure rather then a lover figure as a child, a twelve year old boy is still, believe it or not, a child." Oki explained, "While a twelve year old girl is more of a woman then a child, he won't understand it if-"

I felt my patience thin, but still didn't say anything. What is it with girls talking about boys, anyway?

"So if Sasuke-kun sees me as a sister, he won't leave me?" Pinky asked.

"Yes and when he's old enough, he will see you as a woman, and someone he can trust to give his heart too. I know this because that is how I got my current man." Oki giggled.

I think I'm gonna gag.

"Ladies, I sorry to say, but you are not longer alone in this room." I interrupted; I had had enough of this conversation.

"Oh, it was nothing, just girl talk right Sakura-chan?" the weird woman replied. I swear that woman is up to something I can feel it.

"Yeah." Pinky whispered before she giggled.

For crying out loud.

"Sit down, sit down." Oki gestured to the seat beside her, I sat next to Pinky.

"Are we late?" Another voice called from the door to announce that Bored-eye, the Tail-brat, and Broody had arrived.

Finally.

"Alright, let's get to business; we need to have this done quickly." Oki said quietly, getting everyone's attention. "I have been doing some thinking and I think I should tell you some more details of this mission before it actually begins, as I have told you before, there are dolphins being killed off our coasts. The bodies are starting to worry tourists, the lifeblood of our homeland. Not to mention that the dolphins are sacred creatures.

The villagers suspect that ninjas might be apart of this plan so it's safe to say that they might be on the alert for enemy shinobi, so you'll have to be careful. My mission to hire you was supposed to be a top-secret job assigned to me by the village council with me under the ruse of business. I might not look like it, but I am a successful businesswoman.'

"I'm afraid that once we get to the island I won't be able to see you until the end of your mission or otherwise the enemy might suspect something if I come back with you guys out of the blue.'

"So I was wondering if you are capable of going undercover on the island as tourists, so that way no one would notice anything and you could have the freedom of searching for clues among people with out them being to suspicious. What do you think Kakashi-san?"

I nearly forgot that 'Kakashi' was Bored-eye's real name.

"Sounds like you had time to plan ahead." Bored-eye replied eyeing her carefully.

"I'm just trying to help; this is my home we're talking about here." Oki replied, looking from the tabletop into Bored-eye's one visible eye. "So what are you going to do about disguises? I mean, the children can easily pass of as civilians, all they have to do is hide their shinobi gear, but what about you?"

"Leave that to me."

"But you need a story…" Oki remarked. Who's the shinobi here, her or us? "I got it! Why not a simple family of an uncle and this three nephews and niece are simply on vacation, it's easy to remember and you all look related enough to pull it off!"

"Related?" I asked.

"Family?" the Tail-brat asked.

Oki looked at me oddly. "It's so obvious I can't believe you guys aren't related, but I have to say you Kyumaru will be the link to pull it off."

"What are you talking about?" The tail brat asked as I started feeling nervous, as though this was going to go against my favor.

Oki smirked and the brats looked at me and almost themselves as if trying to solve the mental puzzle Oki was making. Bored-eye just sighed.

"Kyumaru, remember when I asked you and Naruto if you were brothers? Well you do look like him, and you behave like Sasuke, and you're hair looks similar to Sakura's and that would advocate that you can play the role as their older brother."

What?

I was about to say something when a thought occurred to me, if I played the role as the older brother, it gives me the ability to bug the brats scotch free as well as fulfilling the promise Iruka-sensei made me promise….

"What do you think sensei?" I asked. I'm not gonna let this onna tell me what to do.

"Well it certainly saves us a story," Bored-eye replied, thinking before he returned to his book.

Not that the story was good and all but why did this woman suddenly become so meddlesome before we arrived in the island?

* * *

Omake Theater

Team Seven vs. the Sea

Some people say that we kitsune are nothing but trouble when it comes to our pranks, well I suppose that's true.

I gazed at a board on the side of a wall on the deck, it was nothing more then rules of the ship, the obvious of no running, if you get sea sick, please puke at the **stern **of the ship, and other rules like that.

Then I got an idea.

Time passed and eventually Oki was off bugging her new friend Nerdlet, thank hell, and Bored-eye was off reading in his little corner and I was alone with the remaining members of my team. Time to put plan 'teach to look beneath the underneath' or what ever it was called in to action.

"Say, did any of you read those instructions on how to prevent sea sickness?" I asked out loud.

"Sea sickness?" The tail-brat asked looking at me with curiosity.

"Yes."

"No." Pinky admitted.

While Broody scuffed. "I know how to prevent motion sickness. It's easy enough on a river or a lake."

"Yes, on a lake it's easy, but what about out at sea, where waves are much larger more violent and unpredictable. Not to mention the sea tends to get large rouge waves that appear out of now where." I think I've got them interested. Now to get going to the illusion and…

"Do any of you know the symptoms of sea-sickness?"

Broody snorted and Pinky volunteered the information.

"You basically start feeling nauseous at the motion of the boat and then you vomit."

"Right." I said as I started casting the genjutsu making the boat move in their minds and other stomach churning instances.

They began to sway with invisible waves, each trying to shake off the feeling, but I did what I could to make sure it persisted.

I'm so mean.

"If you three ever start feeling nauseous look at something that sooths the mind, like water rushing off the bow or…" There they go. I cancelled my little genjutsu as three heads stuck out over the side of the boat and the vomit green water of the bay below began to churn like their stomachs, the sloshing was caused with waves formed by other boats. The smell of low tide, rotting seaweed and fish filled our nostrils.

This is even better then I thought it would be.

Eventually they began to naturally sway with the water below them and dizzily began to look at other places before they looked back at the water, the world moving before their eyes before they looked at the order of water below them.

I left them for a time before I returned with them staring at the horizon before they turned at me to glare.

* * *

An: Well here's you're chapter and some of the footnotes.

1 Kappa, harionago, or a funayūrei: The Kappa is a creature that appears to resemble a mix between a frog, small child, and a fish, strongly resembling the first and third creatures rather then the human. They can be both good and evil; the evil ones being known to do things that vary from harmless pranks, kidnapping children to eating human life forces, which vary from legend to legend.

A Harionago is a "hair woman" much like Yura of the Hair from Inuyasha, she will lure travelers and will laugh, if the traveler laughs too she will kill the traveler with her hair, which turns in to thorny whips.

Last but not least a Funayūrei is a ghost of sailors out at sea, and will appear in a boat and will ask sailors for a paddle or some other sailing object before stealing the requested item and sinking the boat of the unfortunate sailor.

2 What Oki here is referring to is the exorcism recital used on changelings, or a fairy's imposter of a human baby in the middle ages, if it is discovered after the real human baby had been abducted, it was believed that if you throw the changeling in to the fire place the changeling will fly up the chimney and back in to the forest where it belonged and will exchange the real human baby on the doorstep.

Why did I have Kyumaru accuse Oki of being these things? Well I had gotten out of my mythology class and thought that it would be an interesting way of showing that Kyumaru does still have some social issues, and as well as having him be a former kitsune, suspect the supernatural before human nature. But if it seems too out of character you have permission to tell me, or flame me but please be constructive and I will see what I can to change it. I have also now finished revising chapter seven and makeing it much longer and now that I'm satisfied I think I'll collapse, I've had a busy day... (collapses). zzzzzzzzzz...


	8. A Dark and Deadly Clue

An: Hello everyone, sorry it took so long to write chapter eight, but a lot has been happening to me, I've granduated from highschool, searched for a job (still searching might I add), and began working on other things. So here's your chapter, I hope you don't mind the latests twits and turns in the plot now.

Chapter 8

A Dark and Deadly Clue

After two uneventful days out at sea, the ship that transported us from the fire country the Island of Naisenylop drifted in to view, it would take another ten minutes before we would arrive, but I didn't care much.

Ten minutes wasn't that much time to me on this boat.

The trip on sea had been somewhat long and boring; except a few instances with the younger members of my team showed that they did blame me for the seasickness prank.

I gazed out at sea, watching the dark blue water move to reveal light turquoise reefs off of the strangely tropical island, the island was somewhat grand in size from the last time I saw it, vaguely wondering how much had changed since Tomoko and I had aided in it's creation all those years ago. The air was warm, salty, and making me slightly drowsy but I wasn't tired enough to sleep, so I shook off the drowsy effects, it wouldn't do for a kitsune to grow drowsy right now. My long hair, which was normally braided ever since I became a genin, was unbound and waved in the wind, covering my red message on my jacket.

An elderly man about as tall as Bored-eye walked next to me and turned to stare out at the island beside me.

"Nice day," the man said, his voice an older and much gruffer then Bored-eye's voice but it still carried the same tone and message, giving someone the impression that one is the age one feels. He seemed experienced with life, like a war veteran, or someone's grandfather. His hair was similar to Bored-eye's style, but for someone who would never met Bored-eye before, it would be a perfect disguise.

"Nice disguise." I said not an ounce of emotion could be weighed in my voice.

The man looked at me, one eye behind an eye patch, the other gazing at me with the same expression as my sensei, only his had a few age lines of someone who had aged so gracefully and could possibly be older then he looks.

"I could say the same to you." Bored-eye replied. "Someone could mistake you for a woman."

I paused and then hurriedly pulled my hair back and tucked it in my jacket. I glared at the man, taking on the act of a child who had just had the obvious pointed out.

"That still doesn't help." He remarked before I rolled my eyes and put my hair back in it's original style of loosely bound, deciding that if any one mistaken me for a woman I would just have to correct them….

With a powerful punch in the gut.

Bored-eye sighed.

"So, am I to call you Grandfather?" I asked, taking away his attention from my disguise.

* * *

The Island docked an hour later with the whole cell together, looking like our parts we were to play. Pinky seemed to really like the whole idea about us running around disguised as a family, gee I wonder why. The roles were set and we were ready to play our parts. 

Bored eye played the role as grandfather.

I played the role as the eldest brother.

Next the three brats got to play the role as triplets with Pinky being the eldest by four minutes, Broody the middle by three minutes, and the Tail-brat was the youngest of the group.

Already people on the ship were buying our act, especially Nerdlet who just simply said, "I knew it." before she started rambling on and on about psychedelic mushrooms.

If the rest of the island is like Oki and Nerdlet, I worry for the island.

On second thought make that the world.

I stood at the top of the boarding ramp ready to disembark on this mystery case when I heard the loud screams of "Ev, Ev, Ev! Evly my darling!" by a strangely familiar voice of our weirdo client.

Pinky peeked around my elbow to gaze at the sight s of the island docking port. All around us the docks were filled with fishermen pulling large tropical sports fish out of boats while tourist and those who benefit the industry where running right and left with signs and cameras flashing light everywhere, it was wasn't too surprising how ever that Pinky was the one who spotted her new idol.

"There she is!" She pointed with an excited whisper.

I looked.

'Ev' was a nicely business dressed man with tanned skin like Oki's and to contrast from her disorganized hair; his own blue locks were neatly trimmed to cling to his scalp. The only thing that however that showed that he was glad to see her was his sparkling brown eyes the wide smile and the hands that reached under… and a mouth that moved up to hers and…. I promptly covered Pinky's eyes.

"Do people have no shame as to do that kind of thing in public?!" I exclaimed filling into the role of protective big brother nicely while Pinky cried, "Nii-san, let me see!"

"No." I replied and lead the others down the ramp.

Once off the ramp I noticed a familiar patch of rocks, only they seemed much older, eroded and I don't remember them being this low on the island, but they still looked like my paw print from all those years ago, back when Tomoko and I fought on this island, magma and ash filling the sky as Tomoko cancelled my kitsune-no-hi attacks with her water attacks from the sea. The small human inhabitants panicking and running from my magma. Ah those where the days. I could still smell the fire and brimstone, just me, my life's worst enemy and nothing but our hate.

"Read this collection of myths about our main deity, the water myobu (1) who saved our people from the nogitsune (2) the charka yokai!"

Ha! I'm still a monster of myth!

Bored eye and the Tail-brat rolled their eyes at my smug demeanor once they heard and saw my reaction.

* * *

Three pointless boring hours later of packing and finding our motel room later, I left Bored-Eye with the twerps for the time being, to play the role as the scout while they examined the beach area; it sounded more like Pinky's excuse to wear her swimsuit to me. 

I had entered a café casually after hours of searching for a local hang out of which to find evidence that might bring suspects in to light, and took a seat at a table in the distant corner.

The café itself was quaint and quite unlike the rest of the tourist town packed with tourist, and salesmen. The walls were painted a light creamy white, making the room feel naturally cool and comfortable, the tables were black and polished to give you the impression of volcanic glass the light was natural with only a few lights to slightly brighten the room without overheating the café. Coffee, a drink I had rarely encountered before, filled my nose along with baked goods that an employee in the back carried forward in racks to place inside a clear display case.

Behind the counter was a large man with dark hair shortly that was trimmed to his head with the top flicking forward like a ledge of a cliff of the local lava rock. He's body was slightly plumb but he didn't seem to mind anything as he worked behind the counter, taking the orders, making the coffee and giving them to his costumers with a proud beam, and his costumers seemed to be locals, judging by their familiarity with the place and the number of 'the usual' orders.

The other customers seemed to sit together in familiar groups, talk varying from small talk and shooting the breezed to a group of bickering boys and girl over what seemed to be a small study group. From the books on the table I think they were arguing about chemistry. If they noticed me, they didn't show it, for it was obvious that I was an outsider, with my pale skin, whisker marks, and bright hair, although the hair thing seemed like something the natives had too.

"Will you two just shut up? You two are bickering like a pair of puppies; we need to get this done." The girl hissed, she was a turquoise-haired girl with dark hazel eyes, but seemed paler in comparison to the other natives of the island, suggesting that she spent more time indoors then out, however she did seem darker then those of Konoha.

"Sure thing Coralline, but Cooper here needs to admit he is incorrect." A Dark-haired boy with glasses and a smug demeanor said as he turned to look at a light haired boy next to him.

"Oh shut up Victor, any way what proof do you have that this principle works?" 'Cooper' snapped back.

"Guys…" Coralline grounded out like a dog owner to her two over active sheltie dogs fighting over a chew toy filled with doggy treats and sourdough bread. "Enough, we still need evidence to prove… you know what… and find out who's behind this. Victor, news report."

Okay, that sentence seemed a little out of place for a teenager seemingly in charge of a civilian science project.

"So far, the tourists in the area are questioning pollution in the water and are wondering if it's safe to swim in. This might be bad for your dad's snorkeling business Cooper." Victor replied looking over some notes he had collected. "Also Sharks have been populating the waters off of your mom's restaurant Coralline, but that also increases the number of shark attacks in our waters, it will drive the tourists off the island that's for sure."

Coralline sighed in frustration.

"Dad's goanna flip, after all he is the one in charge of the biology and ecology department, and the tourists is our economy's main source of industry."

Ah, that would explain all the useless items that they sell.

"Cooper, suspects update."

Cooper looked down at his own notes and leaned forward and whispered, "Well, hotel records show that no tourist has been on the island long enough to have a correlation to the deaths of the dolphins, in fact the hotels are making less and less money because of the decrease in costumers.

"I still don't know about what Doctor Getsuyobi's opinion on the issue, but I did find an old newspaper article about a dolphin attack on a young woman a year and a half ago in his office."

"Odd." Coralline whispered.

"And that's not all, his mother; Getsuyobi-sensei found me and kicked me out of the school."

It sounds like this office was inside a school.

"And Mr. Suiyobi seems very pleased with the number of fish he had been catching lately, and he said that the competition for fish has gone down since the dolphins have disappeared." Cooper continued. The other two gasped and Coralline exclaimed about how terrible that was.

"But he does seem to wish that the dolphins didn't have to suffer." Cooper finished. "And that's my report."

"You missed someone." I suddenly noticed the man from behind the counter walk over to deliver some coffee cups; he seemed to know what these youngsters were talking about. "Here we are; the black coffee for you Victor, the green tea latte for you Coralline, and last but not least, the herbal tea for you Cooper." He deposited the cups to their drinkers, "You forgot about that new shady oil company, Coralline, I believe you know about your cousin's new business with his girlfriend."

"His fiancée," Coralline corrected before she sighed, "I tried to talk to him last week but he didn't' say anything, he didn't come to my house to have dinner like my mom invited him to. He just laughed and apologized and said that he had a new business opportunity, and he won't even tell dad where he drilled the oil. And lately he's smelled of fish and iron."

Fish and iron?

"Oh, I'll be right there sir!" The Counter man said noticing that I was sitting at a table, a menu I had knocked over sitting in front of me.

"Oh no, it's alright," I said politely, after all I didn't want to attract any more attention by acting rude, digging out a few coins I dropped them on the table and got up, hoping no one remembered that I had only entered five minutes ago. "I was just about to leave." I felt the whole café stare at me as I made a smooth retreat until I was out sight before I dashed to the motel to take the information to the others, after all, the sooner we solve this mystery the soon I get to go home and away from Oki's Island.

* * *

"Alright, so all you have to say is that there are at least four suspects," Bored eye replied, still in his disguise. I nodded, if a company was a suspect then yes. 

"So, I'll start looking up the company and see what companies the island supports, and we also found something on the beach." Bored-eye ordered as he pulled out a wad of cloth from his pocket and placed on the table of our motel coffee table.

"I found it." The Tail-brat said.

Broody and Pinky didn't say anything as I reached down and tugged the closest corner of it only to feel a weak demonic aura penetrating the cloth. Out from the corner came a perfectly split in half chunk of white enamel shaped like a cone, the cone was a tooth.

"I know what that is, I can smell it in the fishy smell and the aura, we're dealing with Dolphin-yokai." Everyone else in the room stared at me intently after gasping or giving me their rapt attention. "That suddenly makes sense, Sensei, if you can, get a sample of the oil, dolphin-yokai blubber can be processed in to smooth oil that can easily lubricate machinery and is waterproof. The teeth can have properties of conducting sound waves, seeing as they play a role in the dolphin's hearing. Especially that of the yokai version which can be welded in to metal…but what kind of company does that?"

"So you think it's the company?" Bored-eye asked.

"Possibly." I replied. We'd have to wait for the next day to search for more clues.

* * *

Irritation 

When Bored-eye said that we should look around for more clues this morning, this was not what I had in mind.

Pinky growled next to me as we stood in front of a store, a pink store. "Where are those two? Sasuke-otouto and Naruto-otouto said that they were going to the restroom; if this keeps up they will end up like Grandpa. Late."

Heh, if those two were smart they'd be avoiding this place like the plague, or how I would avoid Tomoko.

"Pin- Sakura-chan, are you sure we want to go in to this store, I mean, I don't see how this will get us anywhere. All that's in there is-"

"Excuse me, but may I have your attention for a second?" Another voice interrupted me.

I turned and glared at the man who crept up behind me while rummaging in a briefcase, ignoring the attention he had attracted. The Man was tall, thin, dressed in a business suit with tan skin leaking out on his arms and legs. His jet black hair and large be-speckled eyes reminded me more of a fly then a human. His voice was that of a fly buzzing.

"How would a young miss like you would like to buy some perfume?"

Miss? "Not interested." I remarked coldly.

"There they are!" Pinky exclaimed as she dashed off in to the crowd, the salesman slid in my way and seemed to weave his place before me, hindering my follow.

"Ah, but why wouldn't a young lady like you…"

"I'm male." I interrupted. I never had this problem when I was a kitsune.

"What that miss- um? What did you say your name was?" The salesman pestered leaning forward with a car-salesman grin. Apparently he wasn't listening, or was just plain desperate….. Really desperate.

"I didn't. And I'm not interested in buying perfume. Now if you'll excuse me."

"But Miss!" The salesman cried... that does it!

Hold on Kyumaru, if you kill the salesman here, it'll attract attention to the local authorities, and it would certainly blow your cover as a tourist, and the enemy ninja might be near, meaning that they would know that there are enemy ninja a foot. Damnit, and I can't maim him either for the same reasons. Oh well I guess it's on to mental torture.

"Look buddy, how many times to I have to tell you, I am not interested in buying perfume because I'm a man." Ha! Get that through your thick skull you fly-bastard! I puffed out my breast-less chest just to prove my point.

"Wha..." The salesman muttered before I pushed him a side and stomped off. Although I felt really tempted with some mindless violence, really tempted.

The scene I entered seemed to be one of lectures and self justice in Pinky's mind, and one of being tossed from the frying pan in to the fire for Broody and the Tail-brat. They stood anchored to the spot like a pair of rabbits who what smelt the oncoming fox, how ever unlike the rabbits, their predator was in plain sight and ready to pounce. "Naruto…. Sasuke…." The venom in her voice made me thankful there wasn't a Kyumaru in this lecture. "You two are late!" I heard Pinky scream. " What were you doing in the restroom any way! Never mind! If you two keep it up you'll end up like Ka-err-Grandpa! What kind of excuse to you two have, do you realize how worried your big sister was?" Big sister huh, so you conveniently forget the big brother?

Both Broody and the Tail-brat seemed very surprised at Pinky's reaction, it was almost as if they had their minds blown away with the big sister change, then again, both of them never had a big sister to lecture them about being punctual.

"I told you we were late Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed while trying the shift the blame on Broody.

Broody however leapt to his own defense." Well who was the one holding us up dobe!"

" Enough!" Pinky roared before a loud scream interrupted them.

"Somebody help there's a body found at the beach! I think it's still alive!"

I leapt to action as reached in a grabbed Pinky and the Tail-brat's wrists before dragging them in the direction of the yell and the crowd, Broody followed me as swiftly as possible.

I ran along the path that lead down to the beach and noticed the normally teal colored water was stained red, with the crimson waves splashing on to the porcelain coral sand.

On the shore, and the source of the blood was what appeared to be a wounded woman.

The woman looked very strange, her long grey hair sprayed behind her like algae in a stranded tide pool. A man waded in to the water and pulled her on to her back and laid her on the shore with a beach towel.

"Somebody get a doctor, she's badly wounded!"

Pinky's hands leapt up and covered her mouth as if to hold back the vomit as she eyed the woman's wounds. I could hear the Tail-brat and Broody do the same. Her body was cut up in various ribbons each had blood oozing from them. Her rib cage was showing, and her top half of the body looked as if she was starving to death, while she had the hips and thighs of a mother.

Her skin tone was an odd one. The middle of her forehead up to her hair line and her entire back was a dark almost ebony tan with a lighter tan on her sides. I wasn't close enough to see the details, and most of her front was paler then Broody's whole skin tone. The woman was clad in what looked like a dark navy blue Bikini and a blood stained sarong.

"Looks like a liposuction and tanning booth gone wrong." A tourist behind me whispered.

I ran forward to see if there were any clues to collect. Another man followed me, armed with what looked like a first aid kit. This man was a local.

"Getsuyobi-san is there anything you can do?" The man who pulled the woman out of the waves asked.

Getsuyobi just leaned forward and felt the woman's pulse. He gave a hopeless sigh. "I don't know. Just put pressure on her wounds for now."

With out thinking I followed the man's instructions with the beach towel by her middle.

The woman's details were clear to me now, her nose although seemingly long and narrow was also flat. Her eyes, although weak and that of someone near death were dark and had a dark ring of almost ebony skin around each eye and a thin stripe that lead to her shoulder where the arms sprouted.

Ears were practically non-existent except for a two defined indents of where ears were supposed to be.

The woman opened her mouth.

A row of sharp cone teeth filled my sight, although half of them were ripped out and bloody.

"My son," She croaked weakly. "Where is my baby boy?"

"We don't know ma'am but don't worry we'll find him." Getsuyobi whispered.

"No… my calf….. He needs me…. They need me… at……. Back…..treasure Cove." She whispered.

"Hey, here's another one!" another voice cried. The new body was that of a young boy about three or four years old. He seemed to be hastily wrapped in a beach green beach towel like an infant although you could see that he was bleeding form similar wounds as the man who pulled the adult female out of the water carried the child to her.

"….Kawewa….." The mother whispered.

"Kaa-chan." The child whispered back. Then the lights in his eyes went out like the rare occasion where a star will die for no apparent reason in the sky, and like a lump of kelp he went limp.

His mother saw this and, as if she lost hope of life when her child left it and followed him seconds after, only a bloody tear seemed to show she left this world.

I heard Pinky bust in to tears as if she heard the conversation.

Getsuyobi sighed in frustration. "Another pair of lives lost, when will this massacre end?" I looked up at Getsuyobi, he was a local, as I had mentioned before dark brown eyes leaked his sharp frustration and his dark hair formed a chinstrap and short straight hair was trimmed tightly to his head and focus forward to a point. "Sorry to have this ruin your vacation." He said looking at me.

I shook my head, at a loss at what to say. I stood up and turned my back only hear one yelp and jerked around sharply. Where the mother and child lay were a pair of bloodied up dolphins. So they were Dolphin-yokai.

Looks like we'll have to explore this "treasure cove."

* * *

An: So this ends chapter 8 with all of it's drama and mystery, the next chapter or two will conclude this arch and we can move on to the next adventure for Team 7. Any thoughts of how I portrayed the drama? Good? Bad? 

(1) A Myobu is a benevolent celestial kitsune that is often in the service of the Japanese God of rice Inari.

(2) A Nogitsune translated to field or wild kitsune, they are often malevolent or a prankster and can be yokai or oni. In fact the Kyubbi-no-Kitsune from Naruto is most likely from this variety of kitsune.

Well to lighten the mood slightly here is another Omake Theater, if you feel it ruins the mood of the chapter you can move onto review the fic.

Omake Theater

Kyumaru vs. the Water.

Pinky sighed to herself as she soaked in to the hot tub, her green two-piece barely visible under the bubbles of the motel's out-door hot tub.

The sun low on the horizon heading for a sun set after briefing about the dolphin tooth. Bored eye was sitting by the pool on a beach chair reading that orange smut he brought along. The other hotel guests just looked at him and said nothing about him reading in public, but there were no scorn or scolding, just a hew head shakes and a whisper about senile old men.

That explains the disguise.

I myself was sitting fully clothed at the side of the pool on the opposite side of Bored eye.

Tail-brat and Broody seemed to have their own swimming competition over who was the fastest. Old lady tourists just seemed to giggle at the boy's "antics" of training.

"Ha! I touched the wall first! Beat that Te-I mean nii-san!" The Tail-brat boasted while Broody rolled his eyes and began another lap while the Tail-brat exclaimed in panic and restarted his lap.

"You shouldn't have wasted your time bragging Tail-brat!" I yelled.

A nearby tourist looked at me with surprise.

"Why do you call him 'Tail-brat'?" He asked.

I was about to snap none of your business but a suddenly black mail idea came in to my head. I smirked.

"Well, I'm not the one to tell you this, but he got his nick-name from a time in his early childhood where, let's just say our parents had a hard time potty--"

I was hit with a big splash of cold water.

"You liar!" the Tail-brat exclaimed from his spot in the pool.

I growled at the idea of getting wet and decided to teach that brat a lesson he would never forget. I pulled off my Jacket, shirt, and shoes and leapt in clad only in my shorts and began to wade to where the Tail-brat was before he yelped and began swimming away in a robust crawl stroke.

I began to paddle and stroke after him, but not as fast or as smooth as he. Damn it. The water was cold to the touch and the chlorine smell choked my nose and I worked to keep my head above the water.

"That's a swimming technique?" Pinky inquired from her spot in the hot tub.

Other people around to pool except for Broody who kept on swimming his laps and the Tail-brat who began swimming loops around me just out of reach.

Bored-eye just sighed at the antics of our team as he turned a page and muttered something I could swear sounded like "Note to self, teach Kyumaru how to swim and make sure he knows something other then the doggy-paddle."


	9. Penned

An: Here's a remake of this chapter, it might not be much but I think this is much smoother.

Chapter Nine

Penned.

Third Person Perspective

Nai'ia sat in the water, her brother and sister clung to her sides like algae clings to a rock, for she was their lifeline in this place.

"Nee-chan, how are we going to get out of this?" Her brother asked eyeing the walls in the pool his flipper hooked on to his elder sister's so not to drift away.

Nai'ia said nothing as she used her other flipper to stroke the head of her other sibling, "It's okay Porta-chan, I'll protect you and Shi-kun." A smaller dolphin nuzzled harder against her side.

"I miss Kaa-chan, Nee-chan." The smaller female called Porta-chan whistled softly almost crying.

"I know I know. Me too." Nai'ia whispered. "But now she's in the Sea Of Everlasting Peace. Her and our lost otouto."

Her siblings looked at her in shock. It had been a year since their mother died and this was the first time she was mentioned since then. The image of her mangled body and their still born brother still haunted them.

Porta-chan fought an urge to sob as she crawled closer to her sister. Feeling bad for bringing up such memories caused Nai'ia to smoothly whisper a lullaby to calm her and their brother.

"Don't worry, I know we'll escape this place, Mairi and Kawewa did." Nai'ia tried to say reassuringly after she drifted away from the words.

"Don't fill them up with false hope Nai'ia." A male dolphin grunted a few yards away. "Mairi and Kawewa picked up some very serious injuries and had nearly lost all their energy from the change of forms. Survival from the shock and excraction process is very slim in probability, not even the most foolish, or spirited gambler would never take those chances. Most are dead after the shock process. They escaped purely on luck and the damaged fence has already been repaired and fortified." Then the male allowed a slim stream of bubbles escape from his blow hole in a stream, equivalent to that of a condemned man's march to the gallows.

"Don't even say that Lop!" Nai'ia exclaimed as those he had accused her of a very grave crime. "I at least haven't given up!"

Another male made a grunt that sounded a lot like a human snort. "How do you propose to escape? We are in a pool made of something harder then rock, breaking our tails or beaks if we bash them in, It echos our calls sharply, causing any one to be dislocated if we use our sound attacks, and if we transform, there is no land we can climb on except for this metal net enforced with razors and spikes and leads to the ceiling and passes them surrounding more pools like this in other stories, and the only way out with out harm leads us to that shock room or if we're lucky the butcher room where we are--"

"No!" Porta-chan screamed, her cry filled the water a hundred fold causing every dolphin who could still hear wince in pain. The others couldn't help to lose patience.

"If my ears weren't already damaged I'd be deaf! Portabella will you think before you scream you stupid calf!" the second male exclaimed in a whisper.

"Be nice Scall!" Nai'ia scolded placing herself between her siblings and the other male. " We don't need you're threats or horror stories."

"Don't cry Portabella-chan, Shiitake here will look after his little sister." Shiitake whispered to his younger sister while their elder sister watched the rising sun.

Omake Theater,

Back to our Heroes part one:

Distraction

The market place, an old parking lot that was filled stalls and stands that all had venders standing behind the tables covered with memorabilia and random "authentic" items that were supposed to be things from their original culture but would never be able to do their original purposes, like those fish hooks made of two different pieces.

"We still need a map." I heard Broody mutter and I saw something in peripheral vision. I did a double take, before I saw it. His Uchiha skin tone didn't seem to appreciate the sun exposure, and Pinky had run out of sunscreen. Arms, legs, face, and his neck were now a light shade of pink, in another ten minutes he might rival Pinky's hair soon.

The Tail-brat was looking at some bright orange outfit with awe, before he took it off the rack and looked in a mirror with a self-admiring eye. The stalls lady gave him an odd look and as her eyes looked sky ward toward a sign that read "women's appeal."

Pinky was scoping out the stands under a sign that said flowers of love, eyeing a little ceramic plurmira flower. Her grass eyes searched the flower for a price tag before she lifted it up and nearly dropped it, before she frowned and put it back on the table, leaving the stand with out another thought.

I rolled at my eyes at the brats, Bored Eye was off searching for more information on "Treasure Cove", just incase it's not a piece of geography.

I walked by a stand that read antiques when something caught my eye, it was white, but an old familiar faint smell caught my nose, rabbit. I skidded to a stop and looked at it. It was an old fur coat, long and soft to the touch. I looked at the old man standing be hind the stand.

He smiled and said "Go ahead, try it on young man. It looks like your color."

I glanced my surroundings, no one was watching, I then grabbed the coat and felt the comfortable fit as if it were custom made for my physic. I smiled, ignoring the tropical heat as I spun around to look at the mirror. It was the closest I'd get to having my own fur coat back right now, and it felt great until I heard a giggle from behind. I turned and saw an unforeseen amount of people, three of which I knew, venders, tourists, and even locals stopped and stared at the odd looking man and kept staring at my back. I froze and tore off the coat and then I looked at the back, it had a white snake coiled around with a cute human expression of it's face with a human's face with golden eyes and white hair holding an iris on the back, and something in another language I didn't recall at the moment. Most humans would be embarrassed, but not me, I'm not a mere human, I am a kitsune and we are not embarrassed, so I dignity put the coat back in the box it came from and marched away. The Tail brat was laughing.

An: Here's a remake of chapter nine, and if you noticed some of it was moved to chapter ten. Oh and extra points to anyone who could have found the anime cross over in it. Oh and Shcribble Donamarine (me) does not support the killing of cute animals and making them in to fur coats, that is cruel and inhumane.


	10. Ephiany

An: Hello everyone, Collage has been hectic, but I have not forgotten you guys!

Chapter Ten

Epiphany

"Okay, there has to be a place that sells maps around here, you three look in that tourist stand right there, and I'll look in that shop" I ordered.

"Hai Onii-san!" the three brats and my "siblings" exclaimed before Pinky grabbed a hold to her two "brothers" and dragged them to the stand with a face that meant business.

I was glad I assigned myself to go solo on the hunt for maps, and I still needed to locate Kakashi-sensei.

What a concept, I used the man's name.

Anyway back to the point I began to patrol the store that was named "ABC Naisenylop." And found the section of maps with ease. The shop had organized isles filled to the brim with usedless junk articles such as painted coconuts and miniature wooden surfboards air bushed with neon colors. The Map area was labled with a large white sign on a stained wooden wall.

I approached the maps casually and pulled one out of the island before I began to scan the map's page for the name "Treasure Cove" searching the beaches of the map for the cove when I learned too late that I had dropped my guard and an old enemy appeared.

"Kyubbi sweetie! Fancy meeting you here too!"

I nearly yelped indignantly and dropped the map on to the floor before I pivoted on my feet before I reached for my Kunai to be come face to face with Tomoko.

"Tomoko," I said reining in my voice so I sounded dignified with a calm emotionless face. "What are you doing here? Did you follow me?" Tomoko looked just like a woman from an magazine… she wore a layer of fish nests that covered her chest and hips, covered by a small vest that was buttoned up to hold her bosom in place while her midriff was exposed. She wore shorts over her hip fishnets and covered the whole look with a cloak like trench coat. I don't know why, but I was slightly reminded of something that I didn't remember at the moment. I uneasily eyed her wickedly long painted black claws on her finger tips. Certainly it wasn't an outfit she would want to wear at night when she's alone.

Tomoko looked surprised at the notion. "Follow you? No, Nyoka said I needed some sun so she and I came here. I don't know why, I like being pale. Did you follow me? What are you doing here anyway?"

"I on a mission, and if I had known you were going to be here I would have declined." I gently snapped, Great, that… bitch is here. With her cold blood of course she would want to go somewhere tropical. And where Nyoka goes, most likely Tomoko will follow. Hell Tomoko won't even remember her own birthday if Nyoka isn't here to remind her. Not that Tomoko is that stupid—oh how I wish she was—but her memory is as faulty as her tracking skills.

Brain trauma from being dropped on the head as an infant may be the cause of her intelligence, but at the price of her memory and tracking skills, I sometimes wish that her insanity could be blamed on the accident, but that would not give the dose of Aphrodite's Venom any credit would it.

I picked up my map and decided to walk straight to the counter and pay for the map so I could study it in peace and contemplate the presence of an old enemy.

"YOU DID WHAT!?!" I heard a man scream. Normally I would not have bothered to find something that was obviously private and none of my business, but I was a fox, so naturally I'm curious.

It was that man we saw at the port with Oki, the man who kissed her and forced me to cover Sakura's eyes as they molested each other… in public of all places, it was like they were trying to stake a claim or something.

I stood at the corner, using my instincts and demonic skills to blend in to the background. I quietly watched.

Oki stood at a lamp post still as scantly clad as ever, only today she was wearing a white top that resembled a strapless corset, only it was held together by fish nets in areas that were considered proper in society's eyes. Fishnets also covered her arms and legs, something I normally saw in Konoha, with a black leather mini skirt around her hips. Her feet had sandals which were draped layers of anklets and bangles on her wrists. A chain was also wrapped her waist.

I eyed the clothes wearily, they looked more like something that screamed sex appeal in the shady recesses of a bar, not in broad daylight.

"Ev" was still dressed the same. Business suit with a green tie, his chest was puffed forward in what looked like anger. "Do you mean to tell me that you were the one to hire the shinobi?"

"I-I had to Ev! Other wise the elders would have suspected something, and I only hired a genin squad, there's no way-" Oki sobbed, it was then I noticed that she was crying before she was interrupted.

"Shut up!"

I looked at the man oddly, why was he so tense? Was he the one responsible for the whole reason I was here? Judging from the anger he directed at Oki, I'd say yes.

"Do you realize what you've done!" Ev Exclaimed.

"Yes. But I've planned ahead, I figured that if the elders asked me to do this, I have planted a sleeper agent, even if she doesn't realize it, but I can break the weak link of the team."

She? Weak Link, she had to be talking about Pinky.

"I've befriended her, and told her what she wanted to hear, at the rate she's going, I'll be able to break her little spirit by breaking her heart, and the team won't be able to move on." Oki went on.

"How can you be so sure, I've heard Shinobi will kill their own, if it's inconvenient?"

"They won't, she's so young, and the two boys are too young, one's too weak, and the other's incharge of the whole group. Konoha invests too much on the future to harm her."

Ha, she thinks Bored-eye sensei is weak….

" In fact, I'm going to check on my sleeper agent right now." Oki continued.

Ev grabbed her arm hard as she turned around.

"Did I ever mention that I love you?" Ev whispered loudly before he brought his mouth to hers firmly in a kiss, I couldn't tell if it was forced or not, but I wouldn't want any one near my mouth at that velocity. Then they pulled apart, Oki's lips were more swollen then his.

" All the time Ev, all the time." She whispered.

"And you love me too right?" He asked.

"O-of course!" She exclaimed forcefully, I could just feel the tears forcing their way in to her voice.

"You finished healing after that trip to the clinic right?" Ev asked suddenly. Clinic, was she sick? Injured? I grew sick of the matching of the soap opera, I was about to turn to leave, but somehow, those words sounded like he was using a club against her….

She quivered as if that metaphorical club had smashed in to her and she looked down at her feet before she brought her head back up. "Yes. Yes I have."

"That's good, well then maybe tonight we could-"

" Ev, not now, I have work to do." And she pulled out of his grasp and vanished, mostly because it seemed like he let her, and I backed slowly away. Before I report what I have found, I need to keep Pinky away from Oki.

I backed away from the location and retraced my steps back to the ABC Naisenylop and then began to look for the tourist stand I pointed the brats to, they were not there.

Okay, think, where would I find them, Pinky won't wander too far way from Broody, won't she?

Well, Tail-brat won't let the other two out of his sight…. So where would they be… the nearest ramen stand maybe?

I began scanning the environment when I heard a loud yell of surprise.

"Oki?!"

I knew that voice, it was Pinky, but I now had a direction as to her location and began running in that direction, ignoring the people who stopped to stare. I had to find them.

I skidded to a halt when I found Oki standing next to an ally way with Pinky standing between the woman and the ally way and I approached slowly. Broody and the Tail-brat were no where in sight. I felt frustrated that the two boys weren't even there.

"How are you doing?" the adult asked.

"I'm doing great! Your advice really helps." Pinky exclaimed with enthusiasm.

"That's great Sakura-chan, I wanted to ask you something, but I'm afraid I can't ask you here so, can you meet me at the address on this card," Oki had then shoved a card in to Pinky's hand. " Tomarrow night at eight? Come alone, this is not for men's eyes."

Pinky then grew interested and looked at the card. " I'll think about it." She answered.

"That's all I needed to hear." Oki said, I grew distrustful of the woman. She reminded me of a hungry angler fish, waving a tantalizing lure with in reach, but knowing that once you touch it, it would be the last thing you knew.

"P-Sakura-chan! Where are our brothers?" I called the minute I got close.

"Onii-san!" Pinky exclaimed, stepping around Oki and approaching, eyeing the maps I had in my hand. "They are back at the stand." She said pointing to a stand, and sure enough there were their tell tale blond and black heads.

"Well come on then, Grandfather's waiting."

Pinky's eyes widened and she started dragging me to the stand. I ignored Oki as she watched us go.

Once we came back to our rendezvous point for Bored-eye, I pulled out the map and we studied it, there was no cove on the island called Treasure Cove. Some how I'm not surprised any more.

"Yo."

"Ka-" The Tail-brat began before Broody stepped on his foot.

"He's Grandfather, remember dobe!" He scolded the blond.

"R-right."

"We looked at a map and found that there was no Treasure Cove." I reported.

"Ah, well then it's a good thing I found these." Bored eyes said, his old man disguise wrinkled a little, and almost revealed the younger man underneath for a moment before he dug out a couple of papers. I looked at them.

One was a label of an oil can, and the other was a flier for a meat market. As we passed the papers around I noticed, the oil can's company smelled strongly of fish and blood, the brand company was titled "Treasure Cove Oil." And the Meat flier said " 50 on surplus Dolphin meat."

I think we know who our culprits are now.

An: Here's the latest chapter, I know you all were waiting this for a while… oh and Chapter nine's been redone.


	11. When All Hell Breaks Loose

An: Here's the next chapter

Chapter Eleven

When All Hell Breaks Loose.

It was a quiet walk back to the motel; Broody and Tail-brat lead the way. I was next to Pinky and Bored-eye-sensei was right behind us.

Inside I was thinking, should I say anything to Pinky about Oki? Tarnish her silvery image of the woman, possibly have her loose all trust in me and have it lead to some disaster that might get someone killed? Like me, the Tail-brat, or worse, me _and_ him?

Well, what are the consequences of keeping my silence? Well, if it's a kidnapping we might end up with a hostage situation, or an eaten or possessed Pinky, after all, how the hell can I prove that Oki is even human?

I looked at the girl, her long pink hair dangle and sway with each step.

As much as I lack the skill in the area of understanding humans, Kaka—Bored-eye did mention the importance of teamwork, if something were to happen, it would damage us all. But what if she didn't listen to what I said? Wouldn't have the same results as if I didn't say anything?

Well, if she doesn't listen, doesn't that mean it's not my fault if something happened? Or would some sort of miracle happen if I did say something? Was Oki, some woman she had known only for days more important to her then her team? Whose words had more power? Hers or mine?

Hell, I'll just have to say something…. I think I've been a human for too long, I'm starting to _think_ like one.

"Pinky, can I see that card of yours?"

"Why?" Pinky looked at me oddly, possibly wondering why I was asking.

I felt like grumbling, but felt that would be too odd, "Don't give me that look, I saw Oki give you that card."

"And I ask again why?" Sakura replied.

"There's something not right with her, I saw her fighting with that boyfriend of hers, and I think it might have more information for the mission."

"What do you mean something's not right with Oki?"

Broody, Tail-brat, and Bored eye were watching us. I felt like groaning, this was information I wanted to only share with Bored eye, oh well.

"She was behaving strangely, she seemed jittery, and like I said she was having a fight with her boyfriend." I decided to keep the fact that she talked about Pinky to Bored eye.

Pinky looked at me oddly for a few seconds before she sighed and dug out the little business card.

Sure enough, it had an address to it, and it did say "Treasure Cove" on the front; the company name with a dolphin jumping over waves was printed over the logo. Also, to our surprise, there was a small map of the factory on the back. If this was a trap, we will have to spring it, and take control from there.

* * *

"Alright, state your position." I heard Bored-eye crackle over the radios he had brought for this mission.

Finally we get some action.

"Kyumaru, I'm at point D."

"Sakura, I'm at point B."

Sasuke, I'm at poin-

"UZUMAKI NARUTO! I'M AT POIN-"

"_Turn down the volume runt!"_ I hissed in to my microphone before I remembered something, "Oh, and by the way, watch out for snakes."

"Snakes?" Pinky enquired. "Why do we need to look out for snakes?"

"There's the sentry." Bored-eye replied before I could answer. I caught sight of a man walking at the top of a tall cement wall just inside the range of my vision. The sounds of waves filled my ears among the large leaves of my tropical camouflage.

I crouched in a familiar four legged position for the most familiar stalking method. I slowly crept forward, listening for the signal to attack, even though I didn't think I needed it. I hunted prey in the past, this sentry would be nothing but an easy target, his strides were long and loud, clunking on the wooden deck over the cement, the torch lamps he used for vision made him stand out among the stars and vastness of the tropical night sky. The lamps would be efficient in creating large shadows, easy for us to hide in from a distance. A stretch of bare sand was our only difficulty, seeing as there would be nothing to hide under from the sentry's gaze, if he wasn't pacing and creating blind spots. This would be all too easy.

* * *

Nai'ia was having trouble sleeping, even though it was traditional to doze with half of her brain awake. Her siblings huddled close to her body, huddling for warmth. The sound of foot steps caught her attention. There was also a pair of voices steadily growing stronger and louder.

"I don't know why they had to drag me outta my tent so late a night for another slaughter? Couldn't it wait until tomorrow?" A man asked. She didn't recognize this man, but she could tell that he was nervous; she could taste it in the air. Nai'ia could also hear his heartbeat thumping in his chest and low voice.

"I heard some authorities are breathing down the boss' neck, so he's doing what he can to hide the evidence. After all, it wouldn't do for us to lose our jobs because of some unregulated dolphin harvesting. I mean there are laws that supposedly regulating the harvest, but we are twenty times the legal amount." Another, younger and high voiced, man replied. "And it's not right to keep them in tanks, where are the days when it was just man and animal fighting for their lives out at sea."

"Some people will trade tradition for convenience and safety." The first man said. "So what's the plan for this tank?" Nai'ia froze; the voices were closer to her tank then ever. She could "Hear" the direction the first man was pointing, just by his voice alone.

"Meat, nice, marbled, dark meat. The other tank will be for oil."

Nai'ia nearly screamed, but her distress awoke her fellow dolphins.

A loud booming sound rang in the distance.

* * *

The pavement wall collapsed as I leapt over the rubble. I smirked at the sudden chaos, men in uniforms leapt from doors and hallways, many of which I was sure where security guards. I growled and pulled out some Kunai and Shuriken from my hidden pockets.

My orders were to distract the guards while Broody, Pinky, and the Tail brat free the fish creatures, Bored-Eye will deal with these rumored Shinobi…

I leapt to the side as the first guard attacked; he swung a nightstick wildly with no real skill or precision. A Kunai of mine found a soft spot in his throat. He collapsed.

Others gasped and made a wild run to avenge their fallen comrade. I will never understand humans.

I didn't care any more; I closed my eyes, and unleashed my long suppressed need for bloodlust, and action. I wove between my opponents, striking right and left, the fools collapsed under their fatal wounds. I had missed the exhilaration that came from life and death battles, the suspense of knowing that my next move could be my last, as well my opponent's moves could be their last move as well. It was just like my life, when I was nothing more then a wild kitsune.

Some of the fools changed tactics, some brought out blades, I apparently weeded out the weak, and the stronger came forward. I sank in to my animalistic mind set; my human opponents became my competition for survival, as well as my prey.

I growled again, and they leapt back at what they claimed to see demon red eyes.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

Haruno Sakura dashed down the empty corridors above her were the tanks that kept the dolphins. Beneath her feet were the drain trenches that would flow to the sea. She found a control panel and looked at it briefly before she flicked the switches labeled "To the Sea" before she ran as fast as she could down the corridor, racing up hill before the corridor would flood with water.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke were right behind her, setting up more freedom switches and Naruto yelled about how this will save the dolphins by setting them out to sea, and to freedom.

With out other words, the three genin ran to a three way fork in the corridor. Each corridor was dark, but water was slowly leaking in to each passage.

"Which one do we take Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke said nothing for a moment. "I'll take the center one." The Uchiha finally said.

Naruto, not wanting to be out shown by his rival exclaimed "I'll take the one on the right!"

"Alright…" Sakura finally said, and she took the one on the left.

The genin parted ways each disappearing in to the thirsty darkness.

Behind them, a figure smirked, pulled out a weapon not known to shinobi kind and smirked. They just made her cleanup job easier.

They should have never hired Shinobi in the first place, but now all they had to do, was finish off the job before those genin discovered too much. But first, the easy target, and with murderous intent, the figure entered the left fork.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi leapt out of the shadows for a second before he entered a new set of shadows, heading for the central office, where the man behind all this should be. He found the door with a fogged glass window titled central office in seconds. Kakashi couldn't help but feel suspicious to the lack of guards, and paid close attention to his surroundings.

He heard a voice inside having what sounded like a one-sided conversation with nothing. The male voice seemed angry and irritated.

"What do you mean he's not answering our calls?!" The voice exclaimed. "We have shinobi breathing down our necks and his shipping industry can't accept our dolphin yokai oil!"

Kakashi slowly slid the door open to see that the man on the phone had his back turned to the door, as the man glared out of the pitch black room to stare out at a harbor in which ships with the company's logo was out side a wall of glass.

"A Green what! Of where?!" The man, young man, Kakashi was sure of it, judging by the tone of the voice. "Fine." The man finally bit out before he hung up the phone he was talking to. Kakashi had finally crept to be close enough to place a Kunai against the man's throat when the man turned. The man was wearing a business suit and a tie. At first Ev looked surprised and frightened before he remembered something and reached quickly in to his pocket and confidently looked Kakashi in the eye.

"Nice night." He replied. "Thanks to some of your fellow shinobi, your kind has cost me a multimillion ryo contract."

"What do you mean?" Replied Kakashi, kunai held firmly in his hand, ready for anything this man might throw at him. "According to the mission, you are responsible for the illegal poaching of the dolphins; it is not the legal season or the methods. Not only that, but I've seen evidence that says you aren't using ordinary dolphins."

Ev smirked and almost laughed, doing what he could to ignore the blade to his throat. "You mean by exposing dolphins to intense trauma they forego a transformation from a normal mortal dolphin to one of demonic proportions, however the trauma also kills them and makes for wonderful oil. Yes, the elders would not approve of such methods, but they are so old fashioned that it clashes with such a modern world."

Sensing danger Kakashi leapt back.

"Sharp instincts I see," Ev remarked coolly as he pulled out strange weapon. It was black and shaped like a narrow tube connected to a handle and a compartment that contained some hidden projectile. "Like it? It's called a pistol, a weapon used by pirates that once raided our waters." His index finger reached for the trigger and pulled.

* * *

I, the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, smirked, running on all fours, aiming low punches and kicks on the humans who attacked me when I heard a loud bang. The smell of sulfur filled my nose as I felt something graze the back of my left hind calf muscle as it pulled out of another kick to a human's heart. The pain was red hot and burned the whole afflicted area.

"Missed." I heard a human cursed from a distance. I caught a glimpse from my peripheral vision, to see that human holding some kind of weapon, smoke was rising like cloudy steam from the tip of the tube at the end.

Damn.

* * *

Sakura smiled to herself as she released another batch of dolphins, she turned to a tank labeled 326 and was about to flip that switch when a voice called out, "Sakura-chan? My, I did not expect you to come a day early."

Sakura turned and looked her friend Oki, in the eye.

* * *

"So, this is the tank for the meat?" The first man asked.

"Yep, tank 326." The second man replied as he pulled the switch. Inside the tank, Nai'ia felt panic swell in to her system, as she heard a loud clank. The water in the tank began to recede in to a drain at the bottom of the tank. Hurriedly she pressed her siblings close to a chain link fences that had the faint sounds from the sea cry out like a dying siren. It was then hell broke loose.

* * *

An: Well, Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for! Sorry it took so long, I had to work on College and I had to organize this chapter a little. But I'm glad as to how it turned out. The next chapter will be the conclusion to all this drama. If any readers have any ciritzim or suggestions, or even on ways battles should be held, just send a review please. Thank you!


	12. One Step in to Hell

An: I am sorry for the long wait!

Chapter twelve

One step in to Hell.

Uzumaki Naruto raced down the dark narrow corridor listening to the bangs and clashes of an upcoming battle, the sense warmth behind his navel grew stronger. It was obvious that he was getting closer to Kyumaru, and that it was important for him to get there.

* * *

It took many years of honed reflexes that pulled Kakashi out of harm's way, the bullet left a mark on the wall behind him. He stood firm and shifted his weight on his feet, ready to move at a moment's notice. His head band shifted from covering his left eye to on his forehead the Sharingan glowed in the office light.

"I never thought I'd have to use this on a civilian," Kakashi mused aloud.

"Very fearsome indeed." Ev remarked coolly, almost in awe of what he was seeing. "The legendary eyes of the shinobi, what do you call it?"

Kakashi did not answer.

In that moment it was all Kakashi had to figure out how to defeat this weapon. While the bullet moved faster then most shinobi weapon, the end of the gun points where the projectile could go. The Sharingan spun.

Ev took aim and held his gun steady for fire. Kakashi saw the bullet before Ev pulled the trigger and already knew where it was going.

Kakashi took the initiative and attacked.

Ev pulled back and fired, Kakashi barely had time to deflect it with the kunai he still had in his hand. The blade quivered and jarred his hand, but he refused to let go. But the kunai was damaged and permanently bent, it would never fly straight again.

Ev took the advantage and shot again, Kakashi saw the gun again and barely dodge, causing a burning wound along the skin on the top of his right shoulder. He ignored the burning and the blood, it wasn't serous. Kakashi struck, and the enemy leapt back in panic, a shallow cut formed on Ev's right cheek.

Ev glanced out the window and with his desk chair kicked hard with his leg and sent the chair flying in to the glass wall forming a crack and weakening the glass. Kakashi attacked and the civilian barely dodged again, aiming a fourth shot at Kakashi before firing another at the glass wall, causing a panel and shatter in a diamond waterfall of glass. Ev leapt out of the opening and fled in to the harbor with the faster shinobi on his tail.

* * *

Sakura gasped and looked at Oki for a moment.

"Well, no time like the present. Come along Sakura, this is no place for a lady." Oki said as she grabbed Sakura's arm and pulled her away from the switches of the dolphin tanks and pulled her on to a ladder and up to the main floor.

The shadow flickered and then vanished in the tunnel.

Sakura pulled at her arm. "Oki, I really need to go."

"Now, now Sakura, do you really think that the shinobi life is cut out for a woman? Why are there so few kunoichi out there?"

Something inside of Sakura rebelled. "But you're not a ninja!"

"You're right I'm not. I do not fully trust them, and the rumor's that we spread about their existence here on the island seemed not to drive away attention as Ev and I had hoped."

Sakura froze. "Wh-what do you mean!"

"Sakura-chan, how far would you go for the man you love, for Sasuke-kun?"

Sakura felt that she had reason to be afraid, very afraid. She had even more reason when she felt some cold metal to her temple, and it was not the usual blade she expected, instead it was a cool ring.

A tube.

A pistol.

"Now you listen here, and you listen carefully, if you had just minded your own business, if you had not told your teammates about our woman to woman secret I would not do this to you, you are a beautiful young girl, and you have so much potential, you will make a beautiful wife to some lucky man." Oki whispered, but her words, although kind had a hint of malice to them. Sakura would have flinched at them, if the icy metal didn't disturb her temple. "If you live that is."

Oki pressed against Sakura and slowly the girl obeyed the woman's lead, all her training on self-defense went out the window. Walking backwards, Sakura's heart began palpitating against her rib cage, her breathing was rapid and she began to feel a clammy temperature cling to her skin, lying about the real temperature of the hallway Oki was leading Sakura too.

Sakura felt trapped, and she didn't know what to do.

* * *

I stood surrounded by men with those things of metal, I have no idea what they are, long, black, and smell of sulfur and fire. I snarled.

"What is he?" One of the human guards asked. But I knew I was being cornered.

"What do you think ningin?" I asked. The men looked at me strangely.

My chakra pulsed, which was strange because I was beginning to run low, all I had at my disposal had automatically gone straight to healing my bullet would, despite how small. If anything I knew about the weapon, was that this appeared to be a long distance weapon. So an airborne kunai or senbon would be my only hope.

I reached in to my holster slowly, and barley had time to dodge the next round of fire more bullet wounds grazed my surface, and some penetrated inside limbs instead of causing a skid mark. I stumbled to the ground. No, I will not die in this shameful position.

I fought back to my feet and grabbed some random weapons, ignoring the ones that cut my palms as I reached inside and began to throw them at my enemy. Some men went down automatically and I avoided the lethal of the brigade of flying lead. It still hurt like fire and ice in one sensation, causing new wounds to appear, and blood to trickle down wildly.

It didn't take an idot to know I was in deep trouble, and I refused to admit it, as a demon, this would not trouble me, as a human, I had no idea on how to get out of this alive, so I decided to stick with what I knew.

A wave of kunai took some of the humans down, surprisingly with non lethal wounds and a figure in bright orange stood dramatically behind me. Uzumaki Naruto, the fool, had joined the fight.

* * *

Omake Theater: (Warning, Borderline Crack! ahead)

Writers Block vs. Fan fiction

I stood surrounded by men with those things of metal, I have no idea what they are, long, black, and smell of sulfur and fire. I snarled.

"What is he?" One of the human guards asked. But I knew I was being cornered.

"What do you think ningin?" I asked. The men looked at me strangely.

Suddenly the whole world seemed to shake. Outside Ev and Bored Eye had to hold on to the dock, Oki stumbled to the floor while Pinky braced her self against a nearby door frame. The Tail-Brat seemed unaffected as he dashed in to the scene heroically and Broody from his position ducked under a table while falling debris nearly collapsed on him. As to how I suddenly knew all this, I do not know, nor do I care.

But what was the most disturbing of all was a horrible voice that made all of our ears ring.

"_**CURSE YOU WRITERS BLOCK!"**_

Wow…. That wasn't overly dramatic. I then began to hear the distant sounds of someone trying to bang their head up against some unsuspecting wall.

" _**HOW CAN I WRITE A PARODY FAN FIC WHEN THE FIC IS ABOUT TO TAKE A DARK TURN!"**_

Obviously who ever is yelling has perfection issues….. this is also starting to get really obnoxious….

Wait…. What's a fan fic?

"Oi! Who ever you are, shut up and quit complaining!" I yelled.

It was then the earth quake stopped.

An: Once again sorry for the wait! I've had writers block and a part of the fic was about to take a really dark turn, and I wasn't sure if I should write it or not. Flames at the present time will be welcomed and expected.


End file.
